Another moment

So I'm having a hard time Not thinking about Puck and ...and I seem to always have to do things on my own. Which isn't a bad thing, it's just really hard. Really really hard.

This is that type of moment that you just need someone to hold you while you cry, because this sucks.

This is not an easy thing to do. I know in my heart it's the right thing for Puck. And my son, he has known since the vet told us that his kidneys were starting to go. (And yes I had to go the the vet the alone for the diagnosis) and its not a surprise but my heart breaks every time I look at him. To be perfectly honest, he's one of my favorites out of the cats. He is so sweet, and playful and sweet and has such character. Stupid kidneys failing sucks.

So, yeah the kid knows and its hard but he's dealing (aka more Minecraft ) and I haven't to ever really put an animal down before. Shit, we lost the cats before to the fire and before that, well  my parents took care of that. And this just sucks.

Ugh

And sometimes, well sometimes, I really hate being alone.

Poor Puck :_(

Little Bits

I just feel like writing. Something. I should be doing other things, but honestly, my brain is just not there at the moment.

So in this lovely streaming of my thought process I've got:

Work, busy but not busy and normal which is good.
My kid, worried about him in general. Hormones and growing up is a hard thing.
My cat Puck, who is going to be put to sleep soon because his kidneys are starting to fail and it's just getting worse and I can't watch my cat slowly die :_(
This scarf I am making, I am going to start over (not unusual for me) because I want to use a different gauge needle.
I wake up with 3 cats sleeping around me most nights/days. Sometimes all 4. I wonder how the other cats will react when they realize Puck isn't coming home :_(
I have to do the dishes and really don't feel like it. They can wait a day.
I'm thirsty but have Diego on my side sleeping and Tiamet sleeping between my legs.
I want to kiss someone I love.
This winter can finish up now and move onto Spring.
I need a hug.
I dyed my hair last night and it looks pretty good! Still debating cutting it and how short. It's still pretty cold out...
I have laundry to fold soon...this is going to get tricky.
My weight is annoying me. I need to get cracking on it. My goal is to get to 200 lbs and then go another 10 lbs and so on and so forth. Stupid 15 lbs is annoying me. I probably should not have had that chinese food tonight. But I burned a lot of calories shoveling snow today!! I hope!!
I bathed my cat Diego the other day. I don't think he was too happy about it for once and neither was I. A fat 20 lbs wet cat and I had a conversation. I won. Alpha Female all the way bitches. He still loves me though. Diego is pretty awesome that way.
My heart sings - because it hears your music

Ok, I'm tapped out for the moment. Time to shift the cats, fold the clothes and head to bed. Maybe.