It's slightly more than 2 months since my last post and I feel like everything is still endlessly shifting.
And granted, the world is burning right now, the US leading the charge with a dumpster fire. That is a whole other post, but it does impact anyone that has eyes. LOL right now, gas prices are going up up up along with the cost of everything else.
Work, is still stupid in the sense we still have no clue of what is going on. Acquisitions are hard on companies, layoffs haven't hit my department yet so we are patiently waiting to see if we still have jobs. We got a bonus and I literally had to laugh, don't get me wrong any extra money is awesome. It was just so so small that I was able to buy dinner out and get a book off of Amazon. I'm excited to read the book!
Speaking of reading, I have a shit ton of books to read for my Doula training. I am taking 2 Doula classes right now, Postpartum and Full Spectrum. Both have required reading. I am very behind in the postpartum class, well, because of holidays and life. I will probably need to use the 1 time 6 month extension. I also need to sign up for infant CPR certification. This reading, which I have started (and omg yes this particular book is pretty dry) can be kinda heavy. At least from what the teacher has expressed with some of the books. So I am slightly dreading reading them. The Full Spectrum class is live though, so that is more interactive which is cool and slightly wild at the same time. I definitely feel like an odd one out, which isn't a bad thing per se, especially when I need to listen and follow directions more in general.
I am still in the process of moving into my nieces place. I had asked her before I found out she was pregnant, so I am moving into her place with her toddler and another baby on the way, 5 cats and a dog. Gods help me. There has been a slight delay though in me moving. It has to do with the ceiling needing to be painted, old furniture moved out and the bathroom tub needs to be unclogged. I have been super lucky in my friend letting me stay with her this extra week while those things get taking care of. Granted, I could have stayed at my apartment, it's just....a struggle. I want to talk or do things when at the apartment that would not be conducive to me figuring out me. I do need to go pack up more stuff and move more stuff. It's hard downsizing, yet again. I will say it's weird getting rid some of the clothes I can't or don't wear anymore, because they are too big :) But damn someone of them are so cute! I am trying to donate them to a local place that is not good will. And one of the things about moving into this room, from a 2 bedroom apartment, is I have too much damn stuff. So I am trying to give some to my kid, some to whoever will take it. Some of the items I will be sad to go, like my recliner but there is just no room for it. I've only had it a year. And I have too many blankets in a way and still not enough, why am I such a blanket whore ??
I just really want to get settled, or situated or something. Being in this middle space, holding space, while trying to do things is a juggling knives that are on fire and there is no water in sight. And I'm sweating. I was telling my niece that I am just looking forward to some down time, a pause in the madness.
And of course, my other job asked me to work more hours. Well, sure then. It's retail, and it's baby clothes, so I actually really like it. I am just tired. I need more naps, better sleep and just some me time. Today is a bit of me time. Instead of doing 6 of the 34 things I should be doing, I am writing and venting and will be reading the book I downloaded shortly.
I think for the moment, I need to finish this up and write about the weekend later this week. And maybe start writing more in general, with the 1,000 other things going on. LOL, because why wouldn't I.
I miss me. And I don't even know who me is anymore.
