So earlier this year, I finally made a Mickey ears with pressed pennies, from out 2019 Disney trip. My niece saw it, loved it and wanted one. I had enough pennies leftover to make her this:
One of the things we are trying for holiday season is Quilling. Paper art. I told my kid that because of the vacation from October that we are trying to not spend as much money for the holidays. I had asked him what he wanted (instead of a video game) and surprisingly he said a scrapbook. So suffice it to say, today I went to JoAnn Fabrics and got him a scrapbook to work on. I will need to be speedy with it so that he gets it in time. Something that should be interesting since I've never scrapbooked in my life. I want to also include a Quilled Yule ornament. I got a whole kit from Amazon. There are some seriously amazing options for this and I'm excited and slightly nervous! I'm only nervous because it takes time to create the whole thing, but damn they are absolutely gorgeous. Hopefully we figure it out easily enough, something I will say Youtube is super helpful with.
So finding the pictures and figuring out how to create a simple scrapbook for my son and then quilling some holiday ornaments.
All in time for the holidays and it takes 2 weeks to get to him. With all the other stuff going on. Oy!!
I still got him some items off of Amazon, because it's tradition to send him a stocking with little things in it, that was always his Christmas more than anything else. We celebrated all the gifts at Yule and Xmas was 1 thing from Santa and his stocking. Now his stocking can have some good shit in it, so it's not all candy or silly things. But still, this year is a bit less in general. It's weird. We don't need more things, we need more love and empathy and help and caring. And experiences and adventures. Things can be great and helpful, but sharing in the love in your life is so much more than those things.
Here's hoping the next couple weeks are successful and good.
It was such a good Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed it, spending it with Mike's family, having Jessie there.
It's always a good thing to catch up with people, family and friends. The food was great, and it was just a great night overall.
I totally missed Raven though. I can't say enough how much I love and am thankful for having all the phone calls with Raven and hearing his voice. And it's awesome to see how much he has grown and matured in the last year or so. I know that part of it is just life making it happen, but damn I have an awesome kid.
Christmas is coming up though. It's a bit of a mad rush to get some stuff made and shipped out for Raven, and made in for family/friends. But that means time! Plus, there are a lot of medical stuff going on and time is just going faster than one would hope for. I can't believe it's almost 2022. Seems slightly insane to say the least.
I am lucky enough to have the last 2 weeks of the year off, something I am seriously looking forward to and hope it helps me decompress. This last 2 years have been rough. And yeah vacation in October was great, but it didn't feel like a full ass vacation. I'm hoping the one coming up, even though it's a stay at home type, really helps me just..reset.
On the more medical side, I am fairly confident that I am entering that peri/pre-menopause phase. Man, the mood swings along are vicious. Hair loss (again), some of the overall body heat - it all just sucks. Do not recommend and I am not looking forward to it getting worse. Nope. Not at all. I am also back to taking a ton of my PCOS supplements, trying to get my body back into a better shape and healthier.
On Saturday, I got my nails done with this cute Disney theme and though I did keep the nails short, it's weird trying to do normal things. Like type. Or open a knife to open boxes. Definitely typing. It just feels weird to *have* longer nails, mine are so brittle in general and I keep them short.
I dyed my hair, the henna did not seem to take a whole lot. This and the last time I tried something new, making the henna and then letting it sit for 24 hours before I put it on. The next time I dye my hair, I'm not going do that and see if I can actually get it more red. My white hairs came out soooo orange. At least it's good for Halloween :D
The birthday in general went nice. I made zucchini lasagna and dump cake. I drank wine and mimosas. I created a Disney Mickey Penny Art from the pressed pennies I got 2 years ago at our last trip. I was surprised how quickly it was to hot glue everything together. It was super helpful that Mike pre-outlined the Mickey for me :) I have enough for another Mickey, Mikes wants to get more pressed pennies from this trip
Overall, I'd call it a success.
that sound of silence that makes you want to breathe and cry at the same time. the moment of the a day where you can feel your heart beat and you don't want it to because of the pain it may cause. That brief, ever so brief of a moment where you are so frustrated and happy for it that you can't imagine how insane it can be to function in an every day world. the music of that silence, the harmony of the quiet that is so damn loud that you feel shattered by it It's a moment I crave and want and don't want to exist in. That heart break of losing him, that idea of drinking his favorite drink and remembering his voice and how amazing his hug was. I want to cry but I just want silence, the quiet of my mind and soul. I want to feel numb and delve into the deeps of why I even feel this way. That silence, where you feel it and hear it and dwell in it, all at the same time as the cars pass by and the cat meows at me and the work must continue. No, I want to silence the ache in my heart and silence the pain I don't feel at the sadness. I need a breath, a painstakingly difficult moment of silence.
So funny story really.
Last week, I attempted to pickup my boyfriends kid and I was waiting outside her mom's house. At some point her mom got the mail and saw me. Now, you have to understand, this woman hates me and while hate might sound like a strong word, I'm fairly sure it's accurate. So I texted the kids to warned them that she saw me because typically she is rather verbal in her dislike of me to them the most and I rather have people prepared for stupidity if I can swing it.
Anyways! It seems she also texted my boyfriend about it. Because in her text she said I was a "home wrecker" and honestly that is the funniest shit ever! Because - for the back story - not only did SHE ASK FOR THE DIVORCE - SHE HAD MOVED OUT AND INTO ANOTHER GUYS HOUSE BEFORE I EVEN KNEW MY NOW BOYFRIEND EXISTED!!!!! ahahahahahahahahahahaha
I was separated for my then husband, my boyfriend was separated from his then wife. We meet online - after we had both had separated and each of our respective divorce processes started.
So. No - I am not a home wrecker.
I've been divorced now for just over 7 years, with Mike for 8. Maryland requires a year separation prior to officially being divorced. Mike was divorced before I was.
She's been like this (and honestly she's a lot better than before) for 8 FUCKING YEARS!!
At some point, a person would understand that things are not going to work out with your EX, especially after you've asked for and received a divorce. I'm not sorry that me and Mike are happy and have a great relationship. I'm not sorry that we found each other when we did. I'm pretty damn lucky and happy that we did! But his Ex - she's never quite gotten over it. It seems she has some issues to still figure out and I really hope she does. No one deserves to be unhappy in their life, especially after a divorce for people who did not work out.
Oh, she also called me a tramp but that's just her being uncouth.
Diego is my chonk kitty, not that Daisy isn't too far behind! And he's getting old, 15 right now and he is just in the early stages of struggling. I can tell he doesn't want to walk or jump as much.
He has started to sometimes poop outside the box. It seems like this happens when he gets startled, upset, something. It hasn't happened so often that it's like - damn again.
I tried (for 30 days), when we first moved into the apartment, one of those diffusers to help keep cats calm and not spray and whatnot. And it seemed to work. I noticed the kitties fought less and when it eventually ran out Diego pooped again. So. I just ordered a 60 day supply - here's hoping it helps.
When he's walking, it looks a wee bit painful, like when you've been sitting for too long and everything is stiff. I know at some point it will get to the point of a deeper conversation with my kid about him. I have some hemp oil for cats. Will see if it's still good and still if we can get into the habit of him taking it. I've ordered some supplements for him and hopefully that helps him feel better too.
Right now, he just wants love and sit next to you/lay on you, or be fed :) Love him!!
I am very happy, and relieved, to say my house is finally sold.
And now I can start re-focusing on me, relationships, finances, and whatever else :)
I loved having a house and home, but it was too much for just me now that my kid is in the military. Too much yard, too much cleaning, too much stuff in general. It was definitely good to de-clutter. And really, I am STILL decluttering since so much of it is with my niece. I think the best approach to that is going to be setting aside one day a week to go over and start taking care of what's to be kept/sold/trashed.
I will eventually buy another place.
For now, it's all about getting ready for what's next :)
If you look, I was able to get that metal piece off the block, patched it again with cement and make it look just a little bit better.
My niece was awesome enough to help with painting it, it definitely made it go faster. And it looks so much better!
So. I am trying to fix my home. It's a good home, it has a lot of good memories. And it also needs a bit of help with it's front porch.
Before pictures:
And that one brick is all chipped beyond my abilities.
So I go in for another fun DMV appointment, an hour early...because of what has already happened.
And I was lucky to get called right away and things were progressing and then. HARD STOP. It was literally called a hard stop. They had to call Glen Burnie again and it was only going to be like 15 minutes. Which was really closer to 30 but that's ok.
I get to the next counter and this lady was definitely no nonsense and wanted what happened before and that the Hard Stop was something to do with verifying who I was - AGAIN. But! We were finally able to FINALIZE this bitch and get my new driver's license.
Oh and I was not prepared for the picture. Nope. Not prepared AT ALL.
Good gods I need to lose weight. And granted part of this is because of my period and being bloated, but NOOOOOPPPPEEEEE.
Part 7: A very nice guy from the AZ Directors office called me. I ended up explaining, again and emailed him my DL's. He emailed back that he cleared the driving record and it should be instantaneous but that a couple days is a good idea just to make sure. It went nationwide, so interesting.
Whew.
Part 8: I called the following day to my local DMV, no update in their records yet. Lady was super confused by the story/situation. Transferred me. Got transferred again. And again. 4th person was in Records in Glen Burnie (Super Nice Lady!). She listened, put me on hold - CALLED AZ and verified with them - and she updated the MD records!
Now it's Wednesday and I've waited 3 days and will be calling tomorrow to see about getting an appointment earlier than 2/23!
Almost done!
So. This weekend is going to be it. It's going to be energy drinks, Advil and whatever is needed to get through it and get shit done.
The house needs to be finished - and this means cleaning everything I haven't cleaned. It means carpet cleaning upstairs. It means painting the last 2 rooms after they are patched. Oy.
It means the yard needs to be cleaned up and all the trash taken away.
That is the nervous part, being done and ready enough.
Then, then my house, my home - will be listed for sale.
It's kinda mind boggling in one sense. I've lived here almost 8 years, a lot of memories are from here. With Raven, with my love, with my niece and others. I'm not attached, not in the sense that I am re-thinking the decision to move (because, not I am ready to move on) but so many significant things have happened here. And I am thankful for having such a warm house, one that has been filled with loud voices and loud love. Life.
And this weekend doesn't even include the work that needs to fix the porch. Or that cost. Nor does it include fixing the fence. Or that cost/hard work.
Jesus, selling a house is an expensive endeavor.
BUT, one that I need to do. Which makes me excited. I want to sell, and change living situations. And it will be the first time that I don't have school, a kid, or a house, that needs me. I will have TIME.
Don't get me wrong, I fucking miss my son like no ones fucking business, but he's an adult and figuring his own self out. He is also amazing. I hope I get to see him at some point and hug him and enough spending TIME with him.
I am excited for a LOT of reasons :) But the overall joy is about shifting and moving forward. Forward is good. Forward is not stagnant or paused and I like forward for a lot of different reasons.
After this weekend, it's all about tackling the attic and getting that situated :) Not a horrible thing to get accomplished in the next couple weeks.
I am so lucky. And thankful. And happy. Life is good!
Part 1:
I had to schedule an appointment, because of Covid-19 and the earliest date was 2 months away.
Ok, did that.
Part 2: Good gods, I needed my divorce paperwork, had it. My marriage certificate - DID NOT HAVE IT. Sent in the request. X wrong answer. All the other info needed, I had = Yay for that.
Rescheduled my appointment
Called directly to the place we had married and requested it.
Waiting.
Rescheduled my appointment again because I didn't want to not have my old certificate.
Part 3: Appointment day.
I'm prepped and ready. Get there, wait only like 20 minutes.
But wait, there's a problem.
ARIZONA says I surrendered my license to them in 2017. What the what?? I've been here since 2009/2010. I have license here. The lady legit said no I don't have a MD license. Bwhahaha, she was HOLDING IT as she said this.
I have not lived in AZ since 1995. That is literally 25 years ago. 25 mother fucking years and they are holding me up from getting my drivers license renewed.
I was told I would be charged for an out of state license. I own a fucking house here. I have been here for 11 years. Dude!
So. If I had my OLD AZ license, from 1995, which I have seen ironically seen sometime in the last few years as I've been cleaning out my attic and finding old and sometimes interesting things.
This is just insane, not horribly so, but it's super annoying and frustrating to say the least.
The 1st lady at the local DMV had said I could have renewed my license 6 months before it expired. Ahem, hello - Covid 19 kinda made that difficult. Which is why mine expired in the first place.
She was nice, but confused because she's telling me that I don't have a MD license, when I do, because of the system is telling her. So we have to fix the system in order for this to move forward. Which means I have to call AZ and get them to send a letter to Glenn Burnie and I'm like...LET ME CHECK FIRST for my old license.
Part 4: I drive back to Frederick, TRAFFIC ISSUES, dash to the apartment and look where I had thought I this thing. NOPE. Fucking hell. Ok. Drive BACK to the house, go to the attic and check the safe. NOPE AGAIN.
Damn it.
I start to go back to the DMV and side tracked to my nieces because I am storing a lot of stuff with her, like old pics and whatnot and MAYBE I had left it with those.
NOPE. Couldn't even find that box so it may still be up in the attic.
Part 5: I call AZ and left a vm.
Part 6: Wow, I got a call back like in literally 10 minutes. Sad news, the super nice lady was not the one who handles this (no access) but is forwarding my information to her Director and I should have a call back no later than tomorrow afternoon. If I don't have a call, super nice lady asked me to call her again.
So. Good gods, so much driving and talking and I need a drink.
Part 7 - Coming up next
You ever wake up, and know that before you do anything, Advil is going to be needed?
Yep, that was me today! Before taking a shower, 2 Advil with water was definitely in order! I ache and have pains in all kinds of places!
But, it's happy pain really - because I am cleaning and packing and prepping.
