Surgery, Projects and Changes - oh my!

Holy fuck I haven't written in a long time!! There have been a couple moments in the last year where I've thought about and even came here to write but I just...didn't.

OK, so some quick updates then! 

 I had a double mastectomy with an immediate Diep Flap reconstruction in February. I was off for 2 months and while for the most part it was a good and non complicated recovery, there was some minor issues once I got home from the hospital. I don't know if it was a reaction to the surgical tape used or if one of my 4 drains kinked at some point in the 1.5 hour drive home or whatever, but I ended up with some lovely blisters on both breasts which necessitated daily wound treatment. My boyfriend did absolutely an awesome job in assisting with that. And I loved the overall results! I will say, the resulting size was somewhat larger that I was anticipating...and I won't argue if they go down a little bit.

Another side of effect of a 13 hour surgery and 3 days in the hospital, I came over literally 11 lbs heavier. That was wild. I swear it's all in my thighs. I gained another 7-8 lbs in the proceeding months. I was not stressing over this, I know that it's temporary and I'll lose the weight again. It is annoying.

Then I just had another surgery last week, it was an outpatient surgery and again it was for the breasts and the dog ears on my hips from the Diep Flap. Minor reconstruction to fix some of the typical things that need to be fixed once the healing is mostly done and the swelling is resolved. And holy fuck there was some lipo involved and that shit, THAT fucking hurts. 

I will eventually lose the weight and once that is stable, I would definitely like to get these puppies lifted. I do hope they also go down in size as I lose weight but if they don't, it's what it is.

And when I look in the mirror, it's absolutely crazy to see how skinny I look. I do not recognize myself. I will eventually buy new clothes and whatnot, right now I am fitting in my older clothes and I've gotten some hand me downs to tide me over and I have bought a couple of new shirts and things that I needed for surgery anyways. And oh wow, having to find things that don't bother my abdomen has been wild! 

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Yarn - I have SO MUCH YARN! When I hear about Joann's going out of business in January, I absolutely panic bought a shit ton of yarn. So. I decided to open a small business, Stitch & Cuddle. At some point I will get my website updated. I've made several items so far this year already, see below.

 

   

 

 

 There are more I've made and I need to get more pictures done. I need to get some of my finances updated with the state with what's already been done but otherwise, I seem to be stress crocheting a lot. Thankfully I have quite a few projects that will benefit because of this. Suffice it to say, everyone is getting home made gifts this year for the holidays and birthdays. 

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 And both of these things are part of the changes. Another change - potentially - is work. We are being acquired rather soon and I'll find if I have a job still. No stress, none at all (insert eye roll here). Part of the reason I am stress crocheting. Especially with this market, political environment and everything else. The world is only slightly insane right now. This is very, very stressful. I really don't like this timeline to be honest and I hope to wake up to a better world at some point. If I am let go, I will do what I do and figure it out and life will be okay. 

 That's my quick update for the hot moment. 

Scarf

Here is a pic of the scarf I finished the other day.

I'm now working on for the Kid :)

A Thursday Quick Note Thingy

It's a tad bit chilly this morning. I love the seasons changing! I always have :) There is something, so fresh, about each season. Almost like a reset button. Well, ok it really IS a reset button - but you know what I mean!

Also: How the fuck did September pass so damn fast? I mean, seriously?? It's the 26th already!! It felt like the 2nd yesterday! Yikes!!

I finished one scarf last night. Not sure if I like it. I made a couple silly mistakes, not the end of the world. But I almost, ALMOST, want to go back and re-do it. Will see if the person I made it for likes it. If not, I will re-do it. See, I much rather re-make/do something so that the person I am giving it to REALLY likes it. Not just a little bit and that it's ok. Nope. If I can make an change (easy or not, it's not really a stressful thing for me), then I much rather do that and have the person like it that much more. Yes, sometimes it's the thought and effort that count. But you know what? If I want to wear something not ONLY because someone I know made it for me, but also because it's pretty/beautiful/awesome/fill in your adjective here, then that is a WIN. Besides, crocheting a scarf is easy.

I have another one that I had started last year that I will be finishing next. It's this pretty beige and oatmeal colors one that I love. And with me having short hair now, scarves will certainly be my friends this winter!! I will probably make a couple more simple ones after that. I have a strong feeling I will have a pretty decent wardrobe of scarves!! Hmmm, I guess I should probably give some to family and donate some too. I like that idea!!

Work will be picking back up soon, it's had a nice little lull recently. I am ready for the real stuff to start though.

My ankle/foot - well. It's still getting better. I am going to try to stay off it more tonight. Work, I can't really help. I still have the wrap on it, but no air splint. If I could have kept that on longer, I would have. It really does help keep your ankle straight and from rolling or causing more harm. I do walk pretty carefully though. I am going to end up wearing my wrap when I go to the Renaissance Festival on Saturday though. I just want that extra support with all the walking we'll be doing. I can't wait for Saturday, it's going to be a lot of fun :)

My jeans are still loose, which is nice. I haven't changed weight at all for the last week or so. I think I need to mix up my routine or something and get it jump started again. Plus, I know I will be eating more when my sister comes to visit (can't wait!!!). I am planning on making lasagna for my birthday dinner :) And Dump Cake. And maybe some fresh bread! Talk about carb overload! But it's my bday, so why not!!! I haven't been drinking as much water as I should either. Bad Me! Well, working on it now.

Ok, time to get my ass in gear!!

Monday's Moorings

No crutches today. I am still wearing my ankle wrapped and with the air splint, and still not putting a lot of weight on it (in other words, staying off my feet) but when I do walk, I am just hobbling along!

Last night I got to meet some local pagans for a Pot Luck and Mabon celebration. It was nice. It's been SOOOOO long since I have done anything with any type of group. It's not a coven or anything formal. Which, honestly, was probably one of the best things. Because as with most situations when you have more than 2 people in a room, there is drama. At least with this particular group, I didn't get that vibe at all. Well, at least not from the first meeting. And it's just nice to talk to people! LOL, you know what I mean though? People who aren't coworkers and also that at least have SOME idea of similar thoughts. And the food was good too :) I made my bread pudding and it went over really well, which always makes me feel good! I love feeding people. It's not a huge group either, which is nice because I don't remember their names. Bad Me!

This means I got home at about 10 pm. Next time, I can bring my Kid and he can play video games and hang out with their kid(s), which will make things better. I've also offered up the use my backyard, because it would be nice to have some things done outside. Of course, with Winter coming, I doubt it will be a lot (and yes, I do want a fire pit at some point, just need to figure out where!) and I also need to get rid of that poison oak.

Also: I noticed something rather interesting Sunday afternoon. I tried to smoke a cigarette - and it was nasty. I didn't want it. I don't normally have that reaction. Soooo weird. Good, but weird! Not sure if it's just because I'm happier now days or changes in my weight or what. Whatever it is, it's a good thing!! Today, hmmm, I will see if I get the same reaction while at work. If so, well I guess that means my body is telling me to quit smoking for good (hopefully!!).

Edit: Ok, so I just smoked, and it was still gross. I think that I am going to wind down on my smoking, and just quit :) Wow. Who knew!! I will keep 1 pack in reserve for those moments that I want to punch someone's face in - you know - just in case! But at least with these cigarettes (Native American Organic ones) I don't have nic fits or cravings. Which will help in the long run. I think the hardest part will be reading while NOT smoking. I've always done those together (yes, even when it's 20 degrees outside) so that will be an interesting adjustment. Oh and another thought, to make sure I don't just substitute food for smoking as well. I don't want to gain weight from quitting! Maybe will see about more bag time....hmmm...will see what happens :)

I have tons of laundry to do when I get home. I have a dentist appointment early tomorrow morning, which means I can sleep in (yay!!). I am hoping to get some stuff down in the office this week. My main goal is to get my filing done!! And to get the rest of the crap at least sorted and hopefully stored. I also want to make a couple scarves and start on finishing this one baby blanket I've had for way too long. And of course, hopefully give it to someone :) Or maybe sell it. I have several things of yarn I would like to use up :D At least my winter will be productive if I can get that done!

Ok, time to pretend to be productive. Or maybe actually productive.