Still losing and it's wild

 I had this idea, that because of my PCOS, I would be a slow (or well, slower) loser when it comes to WLS (and that still may happen). But I'm over 2 months out and it feels like forever but wow only 2 months. Anyways, I just thought my weight would stall or it'd stop and I'd lose X number of pounds and try to figure out something from there. Because of hormones. But, I am still losing, 2.6 lbs this week so far. For me, that's crazy! It's awesome crazy is what it really is.

I track everything I eat, making sure to hit protein and water goals and the calories have definitely gone from the stable 600-800 range to a 1000 in the last week (holiday and whatnot) but even so, I am still losing. I would LIKE to get back to 800 calories. I am tracking carbs really more than calories but I guess I would feel better if they were a shade lower. 

For me, it's about finding new things to enjoy that won't kick my body out of sync. And that can be extra super hard when PMS hits, like is right now. I fucking want chocolate. Hard core. I bought chocolate and chocolate chips to make fresh cookies (I eat like 1 maybe 2, randomly) but maybe I should make some pudding with PB protein or something and see if that will soothe this desire a tad.

I am soooo close to being under 200 lbs, that is super exciting. I will be celebrating that one for sure! And since I can really only eat like 3 oz at one time, my celebrating is like 5 bites of something extra delicious.

I don't stress when I gain weight back, because I know it's usually because I over did it the day before and it's temporary. Yes, staying under 50g of carbs and hitting those goals are critical in the 1st 6 months, if I can lose the majority of my weight during this time, I am absolutely good with that. Have I tried things I wasn't supposed to? Also 100%, and will continue to TRY things. It's making those choices into habits that will get me into trouble. You do have to weigh in (hahahaha no pun intended) quality of life stuff, but I will say for me the weight loss is because I want to be healthier and not end up in the same situations as my parents or brother. And healthier means making better and smarter decisions. Which is NOT easy during PMS. I think I have to give myself a pass during this week and just do the best I can. I am not going to beat myself up over temporary things.

Post Op Update 3

It's been several days and and I am down to 217, which is freaking awesome. 25 pounds down so far. 

In the last week, I have learned NOT to do too much of any exercise, because when I did some arm ones, the whole evening and next day, I was in pain and sore and I thought it was my kidneys! But not, it was just these poor muscles that were abused because they were not used to it. So I took a couple days off and then started it back with a smaller amount being done each time.

Food, that has been interesting too. I would have thought I would be able to eat the whole 1/4 cup of tuna salad, but nope, first few days I was full before eating it all. I was very surprised by this. That fact I am in week 3 and haven't hit a stall yet is nice too, but I know it's coming. I track everything I eat and try to keep the carbs and sugars low. Calories don't matter as much thankfully! Protein and fluids are the priority first. And water still hurts to drink. Warm fluids are awesome, but cold ones and water are a struggle. What's also weird about that is I can eat popsicles fine and those are frozen. 

I am also tracking inches, and that has as rewarding as the pounds coming off. My calf has gone down an inch and I didn't think that was possible. 

Interesting things also. I have some specific WLS oatmeal, it's definitely better when using hot water vs cooking in the microwave. It's also better with a little bit extra cinnamon.

It's such a learning curve, all of it. You read all the posts and articles and whatnot and think you're prepared or at least aware of what is going to happen. But then you're home by yourself and trying to remember all this information and end up googling everything all over again.

But walking is good and getting better. Life is good in general. I am getting more energy which is soooo nice. AND! It seems my perimenopause is, well, paused. All the hormones releasing into my system has been super good and if anything it means I should go on HRT when I am back in it again. Plus, I am still scheduled for a hysterectomy later this year. I hope that going into a full on chemical menopause with HRT is a good thing. It's only a slight worry right now. I have several months before it happens and time to speak to dr's and whatnot.

Post Op Update 2

 Almost and the end of Week 2. Next week is purees. And to be frank, I have absolutely cheated. Purees, ha, I have had a slice of ham with swiss cheese daily since a couple days ago. I KNOW my stomach is still healing. I try to keep all the other stuff minimal, well ok I do try "new" things almost daily but that's to see what my stomach will handle. For instance, it did not handle eggs yet. But it like grits. It liked cream of rice better. I have never had cream of rice before. Right now I am trying Miso soup. One of the bad things I eat (mow, is it really bad??) is an itty bitty creamy peanut butter. Soooo good when I just need a hit of something.

So the coming week has savory sweet potatoes, garlic mashed potatoes, some additional soup options and a ricotta bake. Oh and tuna salad, maybe egg salad if my stomach doesn't make me puke the eggs again and chicken salad. Food. Real Food. I am so looking forward to that. Though it will also be the start of the well known 3 Week stall. There is a good youtube video explaining why it happens and there a ton of reddit posts on it, so it's expected. It makes sense, you're introducing closer to solid foods into your system and things that have more carbs for sure. Bodies gotta adjust.

One of the more interesting things I've noticed in the last few days as I've started figuring food and how to adjust to my new stomach. We eat too much. I mean, of course that's obvious, but with this itty bitty stomach, I just don't need nor even want (ok, sometimes there is definitely want) more than what my stomach can handle and the fact that I literally can't eat more than that is refreshing. When week 3 starts, I will be shifting to a more normal pattern of meals of breakfast, lunch and dinner and my protein shakes will be the allowable snacks. It will be a bit of a challenge, especially sitting on my ass while I'm still recovering. 

And I also need to start walking outside more. Which I did today with Mike, and it was just .04 shy of a miles, but it was a pretty 20 minute walk. A good start for sure.

I've also started to do some squats and arm exercises. Both my legs and arms need some serious help. 

Time to drink some more water.

Post Op Update

 I am on Day 1 of Week 2 of Post Op. 

I am still on a full liquid diet, though I won't lie I have slightly cheated on said liquid diet. But I am trying to keep it to a minimum. 

In general, I am doing good. No complications or drama. Having major surgery was a new experience! It was a good one overall! Funny story! As I was getting onto the main table from my gurney, I literally got a charlie horse in my right calf muscle. Because of course my body has be difficult it seems.

The first few days were just slow, sitting and watching TV. Nothing bad or dramatic. Then we drove to Target. The car ride was painful, and while I enjoyed walking around Target, I got tired and I think a bit sore. I really did not like the car ride. Then I was back home and watching TV and not really into wanting to crochet or do my other crafty projects yet. And then Wednesday, I had a Dr's appointment. Which I had to drive to. 

That drive, that drive was much more painful. But I did it, got to my appointment. At which the Dr was surprised I drove myself because it seems I was not supposed to do that. Opps. I covered it with how I was a passenger the other day and the Dr. then just kinda slid over it. Then it was the drive home. One word. Excruciating. And it was 2 of my incision sites and I wanted to cry. I almost cried. It was close. The highway was the worst part, and the side streets second next painful. 

And then, I noticed a pain on my left side right below my breast. It was so intense that I took a pain pill yesterday and it made me a bit loopy. So loopy in fact I ended up clearing out a cabinet of old stuff nothing being used (some since 2015 and 2016!) and also reorganized some of the shelves in the fridge. And I did dishes. And wiped the counter. And emptied the trash. And made dinner for Mike. In other words, I did too much. I didn't rest. And my side still hurt. I took a different pain med, and it just made me tired. I went to bed early and thankfully this morning my side does not hurt as much. I did read a lot yesterday on seeing any other bariatric VSG experience the same thing. And it thankfully didn't see uncommon, but it could take time or no time. It could be breathing exercises or not, it could be a muscle or not. I felt like because of the driving it was a muscle that was overworked. It still hurts a bit today and I will probably take another pain pill that makes me tired and just rest. 

Also, I just miss food. I miss chewing food. 

But, I have lost close to 20 lbs so far between Pre and Post Op, so that's awesome and it's important. My health is important and my future health is important.

Time for more liquids...

Pre-Op Day 3

 Day 2 went well overall. I had prepared better for work and had a bison burger for dinner, along with steamed broccoli and cauliflower. It was definitely good! I tried some Pho broth (it came from the store, not a restaurant) and it was so-so, not my favorite. Not sure if I will finish that container. Will see.

Day 3 is going good as well. We went for a walk today down by the C & O Canal and that was nice. A bit longer than I should have done probably, we did 2 miles and it took about 45 minutes. Dinner again is the bison burger and with green beans. I will say it is so nice to have food at least once a day with drinking all the shakes and water. It's like a reward.

I was better today about drinking water. 

I'm not as hungry as compared to day 1 thankfully. But I do want something crunchy and the green beans hit the spot for sure.

I've done some prep work for tomorrow so that will be helpful.

2 Steps Forward!

Yes!! My insurance came back with the approval for surgery! Surgery is set for the end of this month!!

Got the call and made appointments for this same week, which is awesome sauce!

I had an appointment with my Primary Care Dr this morning at 8 am, that went super easy and good. 2nd appointment was with my surgeon, which was also went super easy and good.

The biggest pieces of info:

• Take out birth control 2 weeks prior to surgery and doesn't go back in until 1 month after
• I will be out for 4 weeks, my job is too physical to take a change on bothering my stitches
• It nice to hear I'm on the low end of BMI's they deal with...it's just not something an extra fluffy girl hears often.
• I have a couple more things to get accomplished, blood tests and Covid test, before surgery

I had 2 interesting conversations today.

One with a coworker and good friend who knows about my surgery. His wife had the bypass a few years ago. She said to do keto and not do the surgery. This is the 2nd time she's not to do the sleeve, at first she said to do the bypass. I said to my coworker that I'm not doing this because I have a bad relationship with food, it's more due to having an endocrine system disorder (PCOS). His wife had/has issues with food. She choose to go and eat fast food and make some unhealthy choices. (if anything, mine would be more related to drinking too much). I told him I've done keto and I did not get the results that she or others may get because my body does not send the right/same type of messages. I need something to cause this hardware reset. Then I can start with the software updates of healthy food and drink choices. I was surprised in both her statements though. It could also be that some info is lost in translation too.

2nd conversation was with my regular FedEx driver. I told him I was having surgery and blah blah blah. He asked why and I said really it was the the colonoscopy coming back with a precarious polyp. And family history of diabetes and cancer and I explained in more detail. He was super nice and supportive and said he was glad I was doing something about it and how it's amazing what technology can do now and give warning. He's a cancer survivor. And it was just so nice to hear someone say something positive right off the bat. Only him and my niece have done that so far.

So, yeah it will be nice to weigh less and look good. But damn it, I want to be at a healthy weight so I have a better life. I don't want diabetes or the other health issues of my family. Nope nope nope!

Yes, I know it will start off as miserable and pain and unhappiness. But the long term results are what matters.

Submitted and waiting

 Completed the last step in requests for the insurance requirements! I contacted my bariatric office today and they are submitting it to the insurance company for approval. I am so damn excited. This is a very impressive tool in handling not just weight issues, but in giving my body a very much needed hardware reset - mainly because of my PCOS. I am staying focus on the course and the long perspective. I don't want the negative health issues of my parents or siblings and losing weight will greatly assist in that. Not to mention, having required diet changes will make a further impact. 

Also, getting old sucks and I will take advantage of anything that will help me in the long term. 

Am I nervous about the surgery? Honestly, no. I've never had surgery so I don't know what I'm in for, but I know there will be pain after. That I understand, I also understand it will be temporary. Am I excited to only to be able to sip liquids at first and eventually be able to eat? Not so much, but again, it's just part of the process of shifting into a better version of me. And really, that's the whole of it. A healthier me, where I can do more and continue on this path of happiness.

 

One step forward

Meeting 1 

I got to meet the surgeon today, very nice guy. Went over information, skipped the things I generally understood. I will get pictures of the procedure but he doesn't video record. I asked.

I'm stopping a lot of my supplements for the moment, except for a few like vitamin D, my probiotic and my pmdd/menopausal one that I like. I also now need to get a good multi to take.

What's interesting is - my OBGYN Dr is liking the sleeve surgery to help my PCOS/IR - losing weight resets my body in a lot of ways for that. My new PCP was really asking me to go on BC like, what if I get pregnant after the surgery - I haven't gotten pregnant in 20 years with no BC...but I guess I can see how that would somehow be a concern if my PCOS/IR is reset...maybe. I'm also going into menopause stuff so IDEK. I am questioning this hard core, but I also know that BC can affect weight so...I am going to talk to my OB when I see him later this month.

Part of the next 2 months is learning to eat, chewing thoroughly and not drinking anything while eating. It's a different experience. And sipping water! With no straw - who knew this would be weird and take me a lot longer than I thought it would (to drink 64 oz in a day). 

I keep reading more and more on reddit, thinking about how much this is going to change my life. I still can't get over the excitement of the end goal - or well the mostly end goal - I don't think it's ever NOT a consideration because PCOS is a mean fucker and this surgery is only a tool.

I also have to keep a food log. So far I am using MyFitnessPal again and it's helpful - it's always been helpful but I am definitely looking at why and what I am eating, and how I need to focus on my relationship with food and shift it as well. I don't thankfully have an unhealthy relationship, it still needs to change. I will say that when I do this, I do get really good at NOT eating, especially those things that are not healthy. Which can be a struggle right now because I have to maintain my weight, for insurance purposes, until I do the pre-op diet. I am so used to always being focused on losing, it's a good but weird situation to be in. 

Making some life changes for 2022

 Since I just had my 2nd colonoscopy (yep, one of those more medical posts) in December, and it came back precancerous (which is not horrible, it's not cancer) it's like it lit me up in taking some more significant steps regarding my health. 

First off, I'm fat. It is what it is, I know what's caused it (thank you PCOS/insulin resistance and now perimenopause) and I've done a lot of different things over the years and have yo-yo'd the weight back and forth. My lowest was in 2013 when I weighed about 214 lbs. When my dad died, for about 2 - 2 1/2 years I drank more than I should have. The fact is, when you have PCOS/IR, you're fucked. Everything is a fight to lose weight and then a harder fight to keep it off. PMS? There goes the 5 lbs you've lost back with some extra. It's a vicious cycle and it can take some more extreme measures to get it under control (seriously, at one point I was working out 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day and using Fitbit to track my food/calories/carbs AND IT WAS STILL IMPOSSIBLE TO LOSE WEIGHT). And yeah I looked good but my weight did not decrease. Egg fasts accomplished that more than working out ever did.

Anyways, so now I'm getting old and I'm tired. I'm tired of everything being a mission impossible and not having any of the fun action scenes. 

So I started researching the gastric sleeve. My insurance wasn't the most intuitive to understand if it was covered how much it costs, so I was seriously considering Mexico. And honestly, would totally do that if my insurance didn't cover it - but a couple web chats later it was confirmed and when I hit my out of pocket max, they cover all of it. Honestly, that will be cheaper than Mexico so that's a win.

How my insurance works is this:

$1500 deductible

They then cover 80% - until...I hit the out of pocket max of $3000 - they cover everything else.

So essentially I have to pay $3000 for this (and they only cover bariatric 1 time, ever).

I've been all over Reddit, there are so many different forums there. I've been researching medical papers, medical sites (their info on the sleeve and the bypass) and just trying to get an idea of how much this is going to change me and life. I don't think I fully understand it all - some things you can't really know until it happens. But the overall pieces are that I will lose a shit ton of weight, my stomach will be the size of a banana and it's like a hardware reset for my PCOS/IR. Which means, a whole lot of good things I hope. 

It's a start. I still need to remain focused on the end goal, being healthy. This means to continue doing weight training and walking more. It means to look at food differently, yet again. 

 It's one step forward, a happy excited step for better things!!