Still losing and it's wild

 I had this idea, that because of my PCOS, I would be a slow (or well, slower) loser when it comes to WLS (and that still may happen). But I'm over 2 months out and it feels like forever but wow only 2 months. Anyways, I just thought my weight would stall or it'd stop and I'd lose X number of pounds and try to figure out something from there. Because of hormones. But, I am still losing, 2.6 lbs this week so far. For me, that's crazy! It's awesome crazy is what it really is.

I track everything I eat, making sure to hit protein and water goals and the calories have definitely gone from the stable 600-800 range to a 1000 in the last week (holiday and whatnot) but even so, I am still losing. I would LIKE to get back to 800 calories. I am tracking carbs really more than calories but I guess I would feel better if they were a shade lower. 

For me, it's about finding new things to enjoy that won't kick my body out of sync. And that can be extra super hard when PMS hits, like is right now. I fucking want chocolate. Hard core. I bought chocolate and chocolate chips to make fresh cookies (I eat like 1 maybe 2, randomly) but maybe I should make some pudding with PB protein or something and see if that will soothe this desire a tad.

I am soooo close to being under 200 lbs, that is super exciting. I will be celebrating that one for sure! And since I can really only eat like 3 oz at one time, my celebrating is like 5 bites of something extra delicious.

I don't stress when I gain weight back, because I know it's usually because I over did it the day before and it's temporary. Yes, staying under 50g of carbs and hitting those goals are critical in the 1st 6 months, if I can lose the majority of my weight during this time, I am absolutely good with that. Have I tried things I wasn't supposed to? Also 100%, and will continue to TRY things. It's making those choices into habits that will get me into trouble. You do have to weigh in (hahahaha no pun intended) quality of life stuff, but I will say for me the weight loss is because I want to be healthier and not end up in the same situations as my parents or brother. And healthier means making better and smarter decisions. Which is NOT easy during PMS. I think I have to give myself a pass during this week and just do the best I can. I am not going to beat myself up over temporary things.

Atkins Soup Diet, Part 2

 I don't like this soup. Maybe it's the PMS stuff going on. I don't even know anymore.

Yesterday, I had eggs for breakfast, normal just scrambled eggs with a sliver of cheese. I was full for 4 hours. Lunch, I eat what's left of this turmeric chicken salad I fucked up (maybe 1/3 a cup) and 2 cups of the soup. For real, within an hour - I AM STARVING! I was in the mist of a food panic almost, where I just wanted everything I can see. And granted, I am capable of self restraint and I used that, I wasn't out of control. I just felt like I was. And oh, I cheated so hard too, almonds, raw cookie dough, more almonds, alcohol to boot. It was insane how hungry I was feeling though! I mean, what causes this? Is it the swiss chard? Because I have never really used that before in cooking. Does it need more salt? What is it?????

Dinner, I did not eat soup. Instead, we had chicken with rice (and corn mixed in). And look at that, I was full and not in some kind of rampage of starvation mode. And it wasn't like I ate a ton of it either. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH THIS SOUP???

Why does it make me so damn hungry??

Granted, it must work somehow because even with all the stupid ass cheating, I am still losing weight. I've lost 4.2 lbs so far this week.

And I still had a glass of wine last night.

Today, I've brought soup (and a salad and left overs from last night) for lunch. I added a 1/2 tsp of soy sauce to the soup, thinking maybe it's salt/magnesium or something that I need to not want to starve after. If that helps, good. If not, at least it will be tastier.

This shit is crazy. 

Bits and Pieces (again)

So I have another company coming in on Saturday to look at my shower and try to quote me something I can't afford. I was really hoping Home Depot wasn't going to be "We're part of Home Depot, but a different part." Because this guy just told me that the showers the rep will show me are NOT the ones that Home Depot sells. Ummm, what? I mean, seriously? They are ones more on the higher end. To which I said, I am really looking for something simple, I don't need one all blinged out. He said then tell the rep that and the rep won't show me the blinged out ones. Well. Hmmm. I asked if they do have someone that does installs of things bought at Home Depot. He's all, yep and here's their number. So, in a nutshell, if Home Depot can't sell me this on Saturday, Home Depot can let me buy it from them and they still install it. Oh ok then. Isn't that what I was asking for in the first fucking place when I got this damned appointment set up? Because, hello, single mom with a tight budget here! But I need and want my stupid ass shower fixed!!

I am hoping they have something in my price range that won't require a 2nd car loan payment. Because, damn.

My lovely monthly lady friend is visiting. I am inhaling chocolate at an alarming rate (hahaha, I wish I was) and I've been a bit crankier this time around. Probably because I was really bad about not taking my supplements this month and those do make a difference. I know I'm bloated like a cartoon whale right now. Ugh.

I ordered some books and am really excited about reading Visions from Anne Bishop. I am hoping, hoping, I can read tonight and drink some wine. I seriously doubt that will happen though because I just freaking remembered the Kid has more classwork to finish (oh, what a long story that is) to be turned in on Friday.

Otherwise, work has been keeping me busy. Oh but I will be baking one way or another this weekend. Either cookies or lemon bars or maybe attempt a pumpkin cheesecake :)

Also: I seem to have an obsession with...socks. Don't ask...I will explain later.

Thursday Thoughts

So I am sitting here thinking...and realize those thoughts just run run run away.

Hmmm



My period is starting to show itself, just a hint of it this morning. No wonder I've been craving chocolate and cookies and sex (sigh, I am really really missing sex right now). It will probably be a couple days before I get a full showing from Aunt Flo (the bitch) but at least it's basically staying on time.

Today, it's raining out and chilly. I love it. I wish I had a fireplace, that would be completely awesome. Maybe the next house. Or I can get a cabana and a fire pit or something. I love that smell of wood burning (safely) and gods, it's been centuries since I've actually MADE s'mores!

So instead I am drinking hot Chai tea, loaded up with sugar and creamer (the only way to drink it in my mind) and happily pretending I care 2 wits about work today.

Though I will say the rain makes my left knee hate me (stupid arthritis). And with my impending period, I'm really wanting to sleep (that is really, of course, a coma induced by chocolate, cookies and sex) and maybe actually read. I haven't read in days. DAYS. There is something seriously wrong with this picture! Last night, it was laundry and phone conversations (after chores and dinner). Both were needed and awesome, but I probably could have gone to sleep a tad bit earlier (love me some Jon Stewart!) and and and maybe I could have snuck in a half hour of reading. I could have!! Hmmm.

Tonight, I'm getting the Xmas totes down and going through those, so no reading tonight either for me. On the way home, I need to swing by the store and drop off some out going mail. And get a bottle of wine (ahem, it helps with the period and it tastes yummy).

Some big holidays are coming up. Thanksgiving, well that night I am flying to FLL to see my BFF and go on a cruise :) YES. No real plans for that day, at least none that involve much more than relaxing and double checking my bags!! The Kid will be with his Dad. One of my BFFs here is going to watch my house and kitties for me, which is awesome :)

Then there is Yule and Xmas. Yule, I have the kid and I am sure he will be ripping through his presents like a mad demon, which I will attempt to take pictures of. Christmas Eve and Christmas, shit I should look at the Calendar. I think I has him those days too, with the Ex getting him the day after and for a week. Which I think isn't that fair, he should get him one of those days as well...will talk to him again about that and see what he says.

Then it's New Years and I have got to think of something, DIFFERENT, to do this New Years. It's new in a lot of different ways and I want to remember it in a good way :)

I will have to ask my girlfriends and see what they have going on.

In other news, I doubt I will be painting this weekend! LOL
I need to get my ass in gear it seems.

Tomorrow night, it's THOR at the movies though = AWESOME

And my hair is starting to grow out! YES! I don't look so lesbian-ish (which is great if I was one, but I'm not and don't want to confuse people) and I need to Henna dye it again before my cruise!

Dental Insurance Annoyances & Hi!!

So, with me going onto my company's dental insurance, the dentist I've been going to for years is not "in-network" but they do take it as out of network. Which, of course, is much more expensive to me. Which means I will be finding a new dentist, which just fucking sucks. Which Which Which, wow, write that work much do I???

The good news, is that the kid's orthodontist is in-network.

But still, HUGE annoyance to me! Because, I really really have liked this dentist and they've done good work! UGH.

So I didn't make it to the movies last Friday night. Just went out to dinner. We went to House of Kobi, which (ahem, that damned word again) was pretty packed. I think I was just sorta peopled out - you know? I just wanted a more quiet place to relax and not dealing with more people and/or crowds.

This Friday, taking the Kid to see Thor in the movie theatre though!! Will have to check out times and which place to take him soon.

I am also pulling down the holiday boxes so they can be split/sorted with the Ex. And the same with the DVD/Blu-ray movies at the house. Good times. Sigh...

Oh and I'm starting to PMS, because life is like that. So. Yes. That.

Other than that stuff though, life is going pretty good. Work is good, the house is always in need of cleaning or laundry doing or something, but that's all normal stuff and good. I'm feeding a stray cat, pushing meds down 2 cats throats twice a day and dealing with angst-y preteen. But honestly? I am just so happy, it's all ok :)

I am soooo looking forward to my cruise! I am getting really excited :) I am pretty sure I have all my clothes, though I should probably check that out and see...and I think I might need more shoes....I don't know. Maybe.

I do know that I am getting waxed on Saturday, Brazilian and under arms (never done those before, which will make it interesting if anything). Then I will see about scheduling another session for my legs right before I leave.

I need a nap. Hmmm, maybe I will see about attempting to go to bed early tonight.

Tuesday - Bleh

Busy busy busy!

Made mexican last night. Yum. Going out for dinner tonight though :) Then maybe shopping! If we're in the mood :)

I've come to the realization that one of my bosses does better with women who are cranky/mean. Since I am PMS'ing, and therefore in a somewhat cranky mood, he seems nicer and more light hearted. He said he felt like he was at home with his wife. Which makes me think 2 things. That he likes/used to crankier/bitchier women and that he will leave me alone after laughing at me curse my computer and mutter under my breath about stupid PC's. Ahem. It seems I am too nice all the time. Who knew!

Also: I am really needing a hug today. Ever get the feeling, that you just need to be hugged? Like, A lot? For a long long time? Yeah, my heart is sorta achy and needs hugs. I am blaming PMS emotions on that one...

There is a cricket, somewhere behind me, hiding in the cabinets. It's loud. Joys.

Back to the grind

Freaky Friday's Thoughts....which are not that exciting...unless you count Sugar Walls

Yesterday, work kicked-my-ass. I barely sat down. A good thing, in some ways. Annoying in others. I has things to do!! So lunch time was taken up with Band Booster stuff, which it will again today.

I had a band boosters meeting last night, I got there early as I had more stuff to catch up on. I brought the kids laptop so I could work on things. It turns out that was REALLY helpful, because during the meeting I was able to get a lot of stuff done too.

PMS has only made a wee bit cranky, nothing bitch quality yet. But I've noticed my temper at work need to be reigned in more. Bloated/water weight has added a few pounds, which I hate but at least know it will go away. And still not smoking too. Weird. Very very weird. I am, of course, not reading as much, which is even more weird. I have a couple books I do want to finish, maybe I will get some time soon??? Maybe not! Too much stuff going on! :) Tonight, it's laundry, vacuuming and straightening up - no real big stuff. Tomorrow, my sister gets here!!! Yay!!! SO EXCITED!!!

Watched some TV last night, got distracted and finally went to bed. Even though I went to bed at a decent hour (hey, it was before 11 pm!!) I could NOT sleep. Thoughts just kept churning over and over at me.

Ok, so I woke up at like 5 am for some strange reason this morning. After falling back asleep though, I dreamed of sex. Like major-ly yummy hot sex. See, with PMS - the week before my period - my libido seems to go into over drive. And the books I am reading right now aren't exactly helping with that. So. Yes, dream sex. And for some reason during this dreamy sex marathon in my head, I hear Sheena Easton's song - Sugar Walls. Now, talk about a flash back! I remember when this was on the radio. Ahem. Loved it then, didn't quite understand it as I do now!! So. There you go

Wednesday's Woe

So, not only is my monthly little friend tormenting my poor uterus, my bladder had decided to punish me as well. Nothing quite like that burning sensation when you go pee first thing in the morning!!

Of course, I got my lovely UTI, at least more than likely, from my Brazilian wax starting to grow back in. This is one of the reasons why I went to get waxed again this past weekend...I was hoping to head it of. But, alas, it was not meant to be. See, I know this is why I got it because this happened to me the last time I had one as well. Me and my lovely fucking sensitive skin!! UGH.

Yesterday, I probably drank 100 oz of water and peed more often than office full of pregnant women.

I'm taking Uva Ursi for it. Yes, I know most people go to the Dr. and get antibiotics. I am just not a big fan of pharmaceuticals. And I've had these in the past and taken Uva Ursi and it's always worked for me. Just gotta remember to NOT drink or eat things that are acidic. Like cranberry juice, because that causes the Uva Ursi to not work. Learned that one the hard way!! Research people, always research!!

My allergies are acting up today too - I almost, ALMOST, feel like it's a cold. So bloody annoying. I swear to the gods, my body is just hating me at the moment!!

Work, is well, (shock) busy. Which is good :) Always good that :)

Hmmm....let's see. What else...tomorrow is the Band Boosters meeting. Joys.

I did not go to Lowe's yesterday, so I will attempt to do so today. Because, you know, those bitches still gotta go. In fact! This morning, I get in my car, put my hand on the steering wheel and felt something fuzzy. I should not be feeling something fuzzy. Me being fuzzy is completely different. And what was this fuzzy thing I felt, you ask? Oh, you know, just a little spider. To say I freaked the fuck out puts it mildly. I jumped out of my car and saw said spider dangling by one of it's threads. I gently moved the thread and the spider hit the side of that thingy that has the drive shaft. To which then I took my foot and smashed it. Dead. Yeah, now I have a dead spider partially on my shoe and in my car. Ewwwww.

I needed coffee, UTI or no UTI. I also got water though and started drinking it first. Spiders before coffee should NOT be allowed. Period. As in against the law or something.

Oh! That reminds me, some idiot fuckers in Western Maryland want 5 counties to secede and this quote killed me:

Carroll County resident Scott Strzelczyk, leader of the “Western Maryland Initiative,” says people are fed up with the liberal majority and want an "amicable divorce."

That's right, because those liberals are such hard asses and because they vote and you don't like it, therefore you must have your own state. Ahem. If the majority of people felt the way these idiots did, then elections and alcohol taxes would have ended up different. But nooooo, you're upset because for once, you aren't majority and you're not getting your way and therefore must throw a tantrum! Listen assholes, there is always someone else getting what they want. Always. Times change, people and cultures change and either you are part of that change or you are what's changed. Life is just like that. Reality sucks, I know, but come on - either you realize it or live in some alternate version of things. And you know what? Liberals probably felt this way too, when YOU assholes were more in office. So what did they do? The worked the system and got the majority. It's always a fucking gamble with any form of politics. The whole thing gives me a headache.

Oh the comments under the articles crack me up. Seriously, some people are just fucking stupid. As in scary stupid.

Of course, I doubt this will really happen. It's just annoying. For reals.

Link from CNN:
http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/region/carroll_county/group-calls-for-western-maryland-counties-to-secede?hpt=us_bn7

Local News Article:
http://www.herald-mail.com/news/local/hm-group-calls-for-western-md-counties-to-secede-20130909,0,5846199.story

Cramping My Style

Cramps, oh how I love thee and despise thee.

Cramps, you difficult bitch, thanks for the morning wake up call.

So, yeah as you can see my period is starting to get more friendly with me because she's a complete and utter whore who seems to think my poor uterus is her horrific playground.

Sorry, I didn't get as much sleep as usual last night and I think my brain is still working on fumes. Coffee has yet to really impact my blood stream and what blood I have is starting to leak out of me. Oh the fucking joys of the menstrual cycle.

But the upside of this? This is something like 6 months in a row of me getting my period - which is practically unheard of with me previously (stupid PCOS crap). I attribute some of it to losing weight, less stupidity/stress in my life and maybe my hormones are just starting to behave slightly normally. And the really possibly cool upside - if I'm getting my period, that POSSIBLY means I could at some point get pregnant. Of course, that would be later on, once I am divorced AND with someone for a while!! But it's nice to know that if I/we wanted a kid, it's a possibility. A better one than in years passed when my stupid period hated me. If I get to that point, of course I will see the Dr before even thinking of trying, just to make sure I still don't have those lovely cysts choking my ovaries. That's even if at that point in time I/we want kids. I might just be happy with how things are. Who knows! I'm shutting this part of my brain off now...

Laundry done last night. The kid wants to play a video game tonight when I get home. I might, depending on if I feel like puking my guts out or not.

Also: I absolutely LOVE having the dining room table done. It just makes this house feel more complete, more home than it already did. Now, if I could just start painting the kids room! Ohhhh, maybe I will just go in and clean his room out and get it done. I should probably order his curtains too...and that moon sticker for his ceiling. Curtains first. Will check with him this week to make sure he still likes them or if you justs longer black curtains.

So, I'm a wee bit tired today. Last night, I hit Sam's Club and Martins on the way home, and I was already tired. But damn, I was in both stores, shopped and on my way home in 35 minutes. That must be some kind of record!! And then it was chores, laundry and good conversation :) I couldn't believe how fast time sped by!!

Work is busy, some of it just pc stuff today. I don't know. I just want a nap!!!

Also: I might go to Lowe's at lunch time and buy bug spray. There are spiders, lots of them, surrounding my house like a fucking last stand. I don't like. Nope, not all at. Those fuckers gotta go!

Monday Madness

So this weekend -

Let's see, the dining room table is finally finished!! So unbelievably happy about this!!! I watched mostly, but I did help a little bit!! It's amazing how some people are just really good at that type of thing. I am coming to realize that I am not one of them!!! LOL -  Mainly because the DVD/CD Media bookcase I put together? Well...it will get the job done but it sure ain't pretty!! LOL - It's almost kinda sad!! But, it's done. Right? Maybe...I'm still laughing about it so that should say something!!

Back to the dining room table, the kid and I actually ate at it last night - and let me tell you - it was so nice and wonderful and just felt good. Like family should be.

Saturday, that was when I did the DVD/CD thingy - while watching Pitch Perfect again. I also re-arranged my living room just a bit, and I like it so far. Not sure if it's going to stay that way, but will see :) I need to find some place for this mirror I have. If not, it might end up in the attic for a while. The walls in my living room, it's just kinda weird in a way because there is SO much of them, that I am having a hard time finding the right artwork that I want. Hmmm. I think I need to go shopping at Pier 1 or something.

Also: Cake

I cleaned a little bit on Saturday, though I should have probably done some laundry, I guess I will tonight after we go grocery shopping.

Oh I also laid out and got my pale ass some sun! That was sooooo nice. I put some music on my iPod nano, sprayed on some oil and took my pale self outside with a towel and pillow. I flipped sides every 5 songs (give or take) so that I wouldn't burn. I had a hat for covering my face. And it was sooo nice. I want to do this more often!!

Sunday, Sunday...I don't remember...oh that's right! I had this really weird/fucked up dream about my ex-stepsister-in-law. I need to text/email that to her. And since my period is just starting (it's being wishy washy on me today for some reason, stupid period) my hormones have been all over the place. Stupid hormones need to get a life. A good life.

Oh, I also got waxed last night. It's only been 3 weeks, however, in the past if I've had a Brazilian done and it's NOT up kept, UTI or yeast infections will ensue. Not something I want. I actually felt the very start of a UTI yesterday, so Uva Ursi regiment has already started. I think I will be able to head it off and flush it out of my system, especially considering how much fucking water I drink. I didn't get the legs waxed, those can wait another few weeks easy (besides it's not like they are that hairy, it just seems certain patches grow in faster - so weird). But I'm glad I got the Hu Ha done.

Also: hot wax down there feels good.
(the ripping of hair out, not so much, just focus on the yummy hot wax)

Work is going to be busy today, I can already tell. Which is good!! I'd rather be busy than bored, any day :)