Happy Anniversary and thoughts in general

 It has been 9 years since me and my bf had our first date. It's wild just how much has happened, which of course is life in general but I don't think we always think about the future of things. 

Like how my son is an adult, in the military is old enough to drink! Holy Fuck!! I've bought and sold a house. Had 4 cats, now 2. Multiple vacations, drama/family situations, death of my Dad and brother. Covid. Just, I don't even know how to take everything in and just breath for a moment and then refocus on the rest of the future.

I'm very happy with not getting married again. Having a life partner is amazing enough. 

I have no idea what the future will be. So much is still, not quite in flux per se, but more of this whole "wait and see" stage. My niece is having a baby, his youngest is not focused on doing anything that requires a job/moving out of her moms house, the market for housing is stupid (as it is for cars!) and I think I want a different job in the next year or so. There are a lot of options and pathways and I feel like right now it's a holding pattern. 

And I have a hard time holding said pattern I think. Not horribly so, but I just want some kind of forward direction that isn't vague as shit. I mean, yes, I could give myself some hard points of direction...and I am starting to plan that out to a degree. But at the same time, I don't want to fuck something up just because I'm annoyed or impatient. 

I am still losing weight, now more slowly (which is fine by me). I have another surgery scheduled for December so I know there is that to consider. Holidays/birthdays/birth coming up. So I know that part of things is just letting them figure themselves out a little bit. I guess, I just feel this - tug - to DO SOMETHING. I just don't quite know what that something is. 

I love my boyfriend. I am happy with the majority of our relationship. I am looking forward to living life more fully. I just don't know what means in all it's glory.

Holiday Quilling and Scrapbooking

  One of the things we are trying for holiday season is Quilling. Paper art. I told my kid that because of the vacation from October that we are trying to not spend as much money for the holidays. I had asked him what he wanted (instead of a video game) and surprisingly he said a scrapbook. So suffice it to say, today I went to JoAnn Fabrics and got him a scrapbook to work on. I will need to be speedy with it so that he gets it in time. Something that should be interesting since I've never scrapbooked in my life. I want to also include a Quilled Yule ornament. I got a whole kit from Amazon. There are some seriously amazing options for this and I'm excited and slightly nervous! I'm only nervous because it takes time to create the whole thing, but damn they are absolutely gorgeous. Hopefully we figure it out easily enough, something I will say Youtube is super helpful with. 

So finding the pictures and figuring out how to create a simple scrapbook for my son and then quilling some holiday ornaments.

All in time for the holidays and it takes 2 weeks to get to him. With all the other stuff going on. Oy!!

I still got him some items off of Amazon, because it's tradition to send him a stocking with little things in it, that was always his Christmas more than anything else. We celebrated all the gifts at Yule and Xmas was 1 thing from Santa and his stocking. Now his stocking can have some good shit in it,  so it's not all candy or silly things. But still, this year is a bit less in general. It's weird. We don't need more things, we need more love and empathy and help and caring. And experiences and adventures. Things can be great and helpful, but sharing in the love in your life is so much more than those things.

Here's hoping the next couple weeks are successful and good.

Fictional Writing Workshop

I've signed up for a local fictional writing workshop. I had started writing a book decades ago (it was over 150K words) but I knew it needed re-working and *something* that I didn't have time for or knowledge/know how to make it work better. So! I am hoping that this workshop will help me focus on that so that either I can decide to finish it or start a new one 😁

I am excited. It will be a challenging but good project!

First things though, I am going to be cleaning up/out my old laptop. I am still going to fix it (it needs the internal battery replaced), but it had a conflict with Adobe .pdf many years ago that cause it to basically die. I paid a good sum of money to recover the hard drive (all the pictures, the one thing I don't want to lose). So those files, plus any new ones, need to be reviewed and either reorganized or deleted. Then I will transfer to the new laptop that is coming (sooo excited about this too) and then I will take the old laptop back to the original settings for any potential future needs. That bitch is amazing, I had gotten a gaming laptop 6 years ago and it is still a great machine. I don't *trust* it per se , because of the adobe glitch and I don't want to take that chance on stuff any longer. And a new laptop every 6 years isn't a bad investment. 

I think of the reasons I am looking forward to this is because I've missed even blogging, a way to express life's moments and ideas. I've read soooo many good/bad/in-between books over the course of my life and I hope I can figure out a good way to contribute to one or more of those options.

Excited and Nervous

 So. This weekend is going to be it. It's going to be energy drinks, Advil and whatever is needed to get through it and get shit done.

The house needs to be finished - and this means cleaning everything I haven't cleaned. It means carpet cleaning upstairs. It means painting the last 2 rooms after they are patched. Oy.

It means the yard needs to be cleaned up and all the trash taken away.

That is the nervous part, being done and ready enough. 

Then, then my house, my home - will be listed for sale.

It's kinda mind boggling in one sense. I've lived here almost 8 years, a lot of memories are from here. With Raven, with my love, with my niece and others. I'm not attached, not in the sense that I am re-thinking the decision to move (because, not I am ready to move on) but so many significant things have happened here. And I am thankful for having such a warm house, one that has been filled with loud voices and loud love. Life.

And this weekend doesn't even include the work that needs to fix the porch. Or that cost. Nor does it include fixing the fence. Or that cost/hard work.

Jesus, selling a house is an expensive endeavor. 

BUT, one that I need to do. Which makes me excited. I want to sell, and change living situations. And it will be the first time that I don't have school, a kid, or a house, that needs me. I will have TIME.

Don't get me wrong, I fucking miss my son like no ones fucking business, but he's an adult and figuring his own self out. He is also amazing. I hope I get to see him at some point and hug him and enough spending TIME with him.

I am excited for a LOT of reasons :) But the overall joy is about shifting and moving forward. Forward is good. Forward is not stagnant or paused and I like forward for a lot of different reasons.

After this weekend, it's all about tackling the attic and getting that situated :) Not a horrible thing to get accomplished in the next couple weeks.

I am so lucky. And thankful. And happy. Life is good!

So excited! He Passed!

 He passed his Sec+. This is freaking awesome news! He had been studying and stressing and it's a bit a big deal so that he can move on with the next phase. I'M SO DAMN EXCITED FOR HIM! I am such a proud Mama right now!

There was a huge relief when he called saying he passed. He has got to feel good about it, he obviously worked hard to accomplish this. It's stressful, because it affects your future, so it's just so good to know it's one more thing done! Even if he doesn't need it specific to whatever job is upcoming, he has that certification for the next however many years.

Knowing your kid is going to be set for their job and have support is, I can't even say how happy I am for him, relieved and proud of him. I know he's on a good path and really, that's all any parent can wish for.