Another Dr's Appt

 Today was the follow up from my breast appointment/MRI. Of course, my Dr has not received the results (the MRI was done at the end of June) so hopefully when she does get those, they are all normal.

She said because of my Chek2 mutation, I'm at a higher risk for breast cancer and that is why I wanted to check and see if HRT would be ok after my hysterectomy. And she would prefer I didn't, because by getting the hysterectomy, I would be cutting my breast cancer risks in half. But if I take the hormones, it would be the same as if I kept my ovaries. Ummm, no I will take the hormones because wow the perimenopause I experienced before the WLS, was not a happy thing at all. Fuck that. 

It's still a win for me, because though my chances don't go down, at least I will remove one potential cancer issue in my ovaries and I would not be experiencing peri/menopause for a decade of my life. Because seriously, that is some kind of crazy bullshit.

Last week...

 You know, some days and some weeks are just better than others. This week has been very, eh - very unmotivated. Which is life, some time is just like that.

My weight has dropped, slight regain and honestly, I am in Onederland, so I am ok as I keep losing in general. I don't need to race.

I met with a different Dr at my 3 month follow up, as mine was out. I did not like this Dr nearly as much, he was too much - in your space - and I just don't need that. But he had some valid information and even if I don't personally like him, information is at least unbiased. Overall, I've lost 51 lbs since my first appointment and 12.8 since my last appointment. Not bad. 20 lbs more to go to hit goal and then, then life will get harder probably because I want to lose another 25ish after that. So if I can keep this mostly steady, in the next 3 months I should be able to lose the 20 lbs and then the following 6 months the remaining 25ish. Goals!

Onederland

 That elusive thing, Onerland, has finally been met.

At first, the 199.2 pounds didn't quite seem real. I decided to wait another day to make sure it actually was that and not just a temporary thing. My surprise the following day when it went to 198.6 not only confirmed my entrance into a newer frontier but made me realize how fucking nice it is. It's been a long time since I have been this weight and while I did reach (and a little bit less even) sometime in the last 9 years, it was with a strict diet, working out 5 days a week and sometimes twice a day AND if I changed anything (like ate a normal meal) the weight was BACK ON. 

Now, however, I am losing and it's staying off and continuing to drop even when I do eat something like baklava and souvlaki with pita and have a glass of wine. Such a world of difference.

Speaking of wine, I have definitely learned I can not really drink a whole lot of red (as in not even a full glass) because I will get heartburn and it sucks. And I have also found that now I actually enjoy white wines (did not like them in the past) and they do NOT give said heartburn. I still, and am happy about, I can't really drink more than 1/2 to a full glass of wine - and I don't mean my kinda pours that take up the whole glass, I mean those typical restaurant pours. 

I feel like I may be able to accomplish getting to my Dr's goal weight of 180. And when that happens I feel like I may be able tot continue downward to my goal weight of 150-160. I know there will be some regain as years and whatnot go on, so I am hoping that by going lower and staying there I can keep it minimal. 

I have another surgery scheduled for December, so I am hoping that doesn't impact my future weight loss too much. It would be nice if it helps with it, but since it's a hysterectomy and I will have to figure out a nice hormonal balance via meds after, who knows!

So happy, in general :) 

Movie Theatre Popcorn

 We went to watch Thor: Love and Thunder last night and I did a bad thing. I ate the popcorn and learned it is absolutely a slider food and that I can eat too much of it and cause my smaller stomach distress. So, no more popcorn for me. I will contrive some form of healthier snack options moving forward, because the popcorn and Peanut M&Ms weren't it. Granted, I am pms'ing right now and that always, or at least typically, causes poorer decisions when it comes to food choices - but this one lesson was enough to change my mind set. 

I would still like to try popcorn made at home...but that should probably wait a bit until my stomach has calmed down.

And the thing is, it wasn't like some amazing popcorn - the stuff we make at home tastes better. But it was just sooooo easy to eat. And I did make sure to chew it really well. I just had too much.

Thankfully my weight didn't get effected too much for the day. '

I have noticed the last couple of days I have been having a bit of a struggle logging every single thing. It's because of the bad choices of foods more than likely. Which has made me realize I need to stay smart and make some better snacks for me to enjoy. 

Still losing and it's wild

 I had this idea, that because of my PCOS, I would be a slow (or well, slower) loser when it comes to WLS (and that still may happen). But I'm over 2 months out and it feels like forever but wow only 2 months. Anyways, I just thought my weight would stall or it'd stop and I'd lose X number of pounds and try to figure out something from there. Because of hormones. But, I am still losing, 2.6 lbs this week so far. For me, that's crazy! It's awesome crazy is what it really is.

I track everything I eat, making sure to hit protein and water goals and the calories have definitely gone from the stable 600-800 range to a 1000 in the last week (holiday and whatnot) but even so, I am still losing. I would LIKE to get back to 800 calories. I am tracking carbs really more than calories but I guess I would feel better if they were a shade lower. 

For me, it's about finding new things to enjoy that won't kick my body out of sync. And that can be extra super hard when PMS hits, like is right now. I fucking want chocolate. Hard core. I bought chocolate and chocolate chips to make fresh cookies (I eat like 1 maybe 2, randomly) but maybe I should make some pudding with PB protein or something and see if that will soothe this desire a tad.

I am soooo close to being under 200 lbs, that is super exciting. I will be celebrating that one for sure! And since I can really only eat like 3 oz at one time, my celebrating is like 5 bites of something extra delicious.

I don't stress when I gain weight back, because I know it's usually because I over did it the day before and it's temporary. Yes, staying under 50g of carbs and hitting those goals are critical in the 1st 6 months, if I can lose the majority of my weight during this time, I am absolutely good with that. Have I tried things I wasn't supposed to? Also 100%, and will continue to TRY things. It's making those choices into habits that will get me into trouble. You do have to weigh in (hahahaha no pun intended) quality of life stuff, but I will say for me the weight loss is because I want to be healthier and not end up in the same situations as my parents or brother. And healthier means making better and smarter decisions. Which is NOT easy during PMS. I think I have to give myself a pass during this week and just do the best I can. I am not going to beat myself up over temporary things.

Mini update

So thankfully my Covid experience was pretty mild. I have no complaints whatsoever on that score. My taste buds are still relearning themselves, which is what it is.

I was in small stall with my weight, but my period just started so I have no doubt it's hormone and food related, because I have had cravings and have been eating more (by like 200 or so calories). I've been good, in general, with keeping my carbs and sugars low and my protein and fluids high.

In other news, I miss my kid. I miss hugging him. I love that we talk so often. But having a presence is very different than not. I can see why people want to leave closer to their kids. And with Jessie pregnant and me trying to help as much as possible, it's all heart and emotions and figuring things out. 

Well, Covid finally struck

 Over this past Memorial day weekend, I was struck with Covid bug. My boyfriend caught it first, more than likely from a work function he had last week. He said it felt like allergies, but then it quickly turned worse. He never naps and he NAPPED on Saturday. I started feeling it Saturday night and by Sunday morning was definitely sick. I honestly thought it was a head cold/sinus issue because my face...my FACE HURT SO BAD. And my ears were hurting like a sinus infection. The pressure was stupidly horrible. I took meds, they helped. Sunday was a rinse and repeat. Monday, again rinse and repeat but I was not getting better. My boyfriend was definitely on the mend though so one would have thought I would be there soon too. Nope, more fever and body aches and more sinus pressure. 

Tuesday morning, I woke up, still in pain. I decided to go to CVS Minute Clinic and I knew they would want a Covid test and since I have the home rapid ones, I thought it would be better to know before I went anywhere if I did/didn't have Covid. And I was shocked and surprised when it came back positive.

I contacted my boss and let him know and told him I was scheduling a PCR test (this is required by my work) and I got that done that afternoon. I am still waiting on those results.

My bf then tested and low and behold he was also positive on the rapid test. So he's working from home, while I am just sick at home. 

I am finally starting to feel better today, no more fever and my face no longer hurts (well, me at least ahahahaha)

Today though, I also noticed my taste buds was like 98% gone. I have barely tasted anything and it's soooo weird. Like I may as well just eat whatever since I won't get to taste it anyways. Sad but maybe this will also help with the weight loss :) Trying to find that silver lining anywhere I can !!

And hopefully I will stop getting light headed every time I stand up.

I am just thankful I got it after having the vaccination and booster done. I don't even want to imagine how much worse it could be...

Finally - Death Certificate

 I just got in my brother's death certificate, and there are several name spellings that are wrong, which is kinda sad and ironic. I will submit to get it updated though, just because names are important and vital records should be accurate.

What this idiot died from though, oy.

Acute Decompensated Heart Failure

Coronary Atherosclerosis

and other contributing factors:

Femoral Hemorrhage, End Stage Renal Disease, Sepsis, Hypertension, Diabetes Type II, Liver Cirrhosis not alcohol related. 

His heart, his kidneys, massive infection, and the Cirrhosis - my mother had that from NASH. I mean, is this more of a genetic situation to add to my damn list of things that could go wrong??

Dave did not take care of himself, barely at all. He sent his money to Levera and Kesha and let himself and his son suffer. Why do this? Why not go to dialysis, get the help needed to have a place to live (they were living out a car) and make sure you can survive and THEN send what is left to them? I don't know if I will ever not think that Levera as a contributing factor because she doesn't work and just kept asking for more. It was stupid.

What a clusterfuck.