12.09.2020

Atkins Soup Diet, Part 2

 I don't like this soup. Maybe it's the PMS stuff going on. I don't even know anymore.

Yesterday, I had eggs for breakfast, normal just scrambled eggs with a sliver of cheese. I was full for 4 hours. Lunch, I eat what's left of this turmeric chicken salad I fucked up (maybe 1/3 a cup) and 2 cups of the soup. For real, within an hour - I AM STARVING! I was in the mist of a food panic almost, where I just wanted everything I can see. And granted, I am capable of self restraint and I used that, I wasn't out of control. I just felt like I was. And oh, I cheated so hard too, almonds, raw cookie dough, more almonds, alcohol to boot. It was insane how hungry I was feeling though! I mean, what causes this? Is it the swiss chard? Because I have never really used that before in cooking. Does it need more salt? What is it?????

Dinner, I did not eat soup. Instead, we had chicken with rice (and corn mixed in). And look at that, I was full and not in some kind of rampage of starvation mode. And it wasn't like I ate a ton of it either. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH THIS SOUP???

Why does it make me so damn hungry??

Granted, it must work somehow because even with all the stupid ass cheating, I am still losing weight. I've lost 4.2 lbs so far this week.

And I still had a glass of wine last night.

Today, I've brought soup (and a salad and left overs from last night) for lunch. I added a 1/2 tsp of soy sauce to the soup, thinking maybe it's salt/magnesium or something that I need to not want to starve after. If that helps, good. If not, at least it will be tastier.

This shit is crazy. 

12.07.2020

Atkins Soup Diet

 So this past Friday I started to try the Atkins Soup Diet, to help keep my weight at at particular point during the holidays. You have eggs for breakfast, soup for lunch and soup for dinner. I was able to make the soup on Thursday and get it prepped for the following 5 days of meals. You also can have either a chicken or egg salad for a snack - IN CASE YOU NEED IT. Holy hells, I was so damn hungry this whole weekend. AND I CHEATED ON THE STUPID DIET. 

(Just a note, there is no cheese, nuts or anything else allowed for 5 days while doing this diet)

From Friday to Saturday, lost .6 lbs. cheated with popcorn, diet dr. pepper/zero Gatorade and some cheese

From Saturday to Sunday, lost 2.6 lbs. cheated with the same, but add in a bite of chocolate chip cookie dough and zero Gatorade. Oh, I ate some almonds too.

From Sunday to Monday, no loss/no gain. Gave up and ate cereal (Special K with berries), had Cherry Chipotle wings at BJ's, popcorn AND a standard glass of red table wine.

I have done Egg Fasts, with great and lasting success. And wasn't constantly hungry like I was this weekend.

So.

I think, for me personally, I need to modify this Soup Diet into something that would sustain the weight loss AND not be hungry. The soup itself is really good. I just can't function constantly thinking of food. Other side effects are livable, but seeing anything related to food and being like, why yes I would LOVE TO EAT ALL OF THAT RIGHT NOW, is just not going to work in a practical life.

More than likely I am going to add in egg snacks and modify the dinner to soup and some form of eggs. Like e the egg fettuccini alfredo since that dish is particularly amazing. Egg salad or a simple egg omelet.

Deviled eggs for the snacks or even a hard boiled egg would be good.

Today, today I am having soup and salad for lunch since I was not able to prep for anything else. However, for dinner I am going to give the eggs a side order with my soup and see if that helps keep me from fantasying about food and causing me to inhale anything I can find.

11.20.2020

Mouse-capades

Story Time!

I get into my office and see that there are mouse droppings on my desk. Gross, but not the end of the world. I clear my desk off and clean it. It looks almost like new. It seems I had also left a toothpick behind and it chomped on that a bit as well. Otherwise, I don't see or hear anything so I go about my morning, doing work and whatnot. A couple hours go by and I go to my bag to get something...and see a brown little mouse face staring at me! I FREAK AND FLING MY BAG. I take a couple breaths and know I can't ignore this. So. I gather my bag up and cautiously look inside and it's just sitting there, staring me some more. I decide to just dump the whole bag outside and hope it doesn't mind. 

Right outside my area, is a picnic table, which is perfect for this de-mousing. It was cold and windy out, but sunny in general. I put the bag on the table and start to open it up (it's one of those drawstring types of openings) and literally, this mouse LEAPT THE FUCK OUT, FLYING FOR ITS FREEDOM! ahahahahahahaha. OMG I have never seen such a thing and I was cracking up.

I still dumped my bag, and I really don't carry a lot of stuff with me in general. Sadly, the only victim in this story was my peanut butter and jelly sandwich I had made that morning. It got a couple bites in before I found it, so hopefully that was able to tide it over until it found something more suitable.

I told my coworkers about this (we are in logistics and mouse/snakes/bugs aren't uncommon in a lot of locations) and one coworker commented how it must have needed that toothpick after it ate the peanut butter. I agreed, it was the crunchy kind after all :)


11.19.2020

Edging to closer to holidays!

 Next week is Thanksgiving. It's one of the first time in the last few years that we are not going to my BF's parents house - but it's due to Covid-19 and honestly I much rather not be responsible for someone else getting sick and potentially dying. So. This means I am cooking a bit more and only for about 3 people. I am happy my niece will be there! I am actually looking forward to a quieter holiday season. I am not spending as much money on other people, just trying to calm down my poor credit card debt (I can't help but laugh, because I freaking love to shop). 

And seriously, I am missing my kid something fierce. He is still stuck at his tech school, waiting to head to his FDS. Hopefully he gets to head to that before Xmas. I miss his hugs so much. Oy.

We got the bathroom painted - I will try to get pics uploaded soon. Planning on getting the dinning room, foyer and living room done this holiday season if possible. I don't honestly want to even think about the kitchen, that one seems like a bitch and half...maybe if it's clean enough it can pass? Upstairs, the 2 bedrooms should be easy enough to paint. What it really is, is all the freaking prep work. The cleaning, taping off, cutting in, etc. 

But, as I keep reminding myself, it will be worth it. I want to downsize my house/home. I would like a rancher in the future and preferably a house not as big. It's just me and Mike in the foreseeable future. His kids are almost all grown, mine is adulting in awesome ways. And I can pay off majority of my debts with the sale of the house. All good stuff. 

The future beckons. Good, happy options are available. I am excited about moving towards that :)

But first! Thanksgiving! Then Yule and Christmas and then New Years. So much going on!! Well, ok, sorta - because, again, Covid is not a friend and it's been getting worse and what's going on is all inside my house hahahahaha.



10.19.2020

Closing in on the holiday season

 I am trying to figure out how I feel about things. Which is not always easy, because life is never this x = 1, y = 2 and you don't know what each of those things represent half the time.

Right now for instance, I have a headache, probably from the weather and lack of caffeine or it could also have the 6 minutes of deep sleep I got last night. Not sure how I feel about my Fitbit telling me I had 6 MINUTES of deep sleep. I think I've been clenching my teeth again too. So I feel tired today, not motivated and my head hurts.

My hip hurts too, probably because I was tossing and turning last night. I am looking forward to my chiropractic appointment after work today! And I think tonight is a good night to go to bed early.

Also, Samhain is almost here and I want to put up Xmas decorations. How does that even work? This year has been one big cluster fuck and while I would normally feel that next year will be better, until Covid-19 is dealt with, I think it's going to be much of the same.

But the rest of this year, it's all about decluttering, figuring out future plans and making headway on cleaning/updating the house.

And, wait, there's more! The holiday season is ramping up. Thanksgiving and Yule and Christmas and New Years, oh my! I am glad I am taking off the last 2 weeks of the year for vacation, because that will be about cleaning/painting and preparing. Though I just realized as I typed that, that the tree will be out and that's gonna be interesting to paint around !

The holidays are going to be so different this year, in part due to Covid-19 but mostly because my kid is not here. Not sure if he will be at his FDS at that point or not, but travel is restricted. I freaking miss him. I am thankful he's doing good though.

My niece bought her own place, she's mostly moved in there now with just a few small items that will be picked up soon. My house is feeling very empty. And seriously fucking quiet, my gods, the silence is sometimes deafening and I start chatting with my cats to just have something going on! I am happy for her, because owning your own place is a blessing (and a curse), but I miss her too. Thankfully she lives like a mile away, so I get to see her easily enough, it's just different when someone doesn't live in the same house anymore. I'm happy for her, she really needed more space and so do her cats <3

So many changes in the last year, so many more to come. It's kinda wild!

9.15.2020

So excited! He Passed!

 He passed his Sec+. This is freaking awesome news! He had been studying and stressing and it's a bit a big deal so that he can move on with the next phase. I'M SO DAMN EXCITED FOR HIM! I am such a proud Mama right now!

There was a huge relief when he called saying he passed. He has got to feel good about it, he obviously worked hard to accomplish this. It's stressful, because it affects your future, so it's just so good to know it's one more thing done! Even if he doesn't need it specific to whatever job is upcoming, he has that certification for the next however many years.

Knowing your kid is going to be set for their job and have support is, I can't even say how happy I am for him, relieved and proud of him. I know he's on a good path and really, that's all any parent can wish for. 

9.09.2020

Quiet but busy - how does that happen?

It's been so busy lately, at work, in life in general. 

Work has been a serious constant in the busy section of life. But I really do like my work so the busy part is nice. I have awesome coworkers and boss, which helps. 

Life otherwise, is good. I am excited for my niece. I miss my son. I love my boyfriend. I am super excited for Covid-19 to be over.  I am hoping society grows from the obvious changes we need. That's probably a 30/70 shot, if we're lucky. I don't have the biggest faith in about 1/3 of our population, and hopefully it's not in reality more than that. We need a better education, we need people who have empathy. And logic.




8.21.2020

What a week!

This week, wow, has been so incredibly busy and crazy and with so much going on with everyone I care about.

But seriously, I am not sure if it was the new moon this week or what, but whatever was going on affected everyone. Thankfully things are starting to even out and there are more positive outcomes happening, so that's good. Stay focused on the good, on the positive and keep moving forward.

For more good news, I did an egg fast and stuck to it and lost 12 lbs. Holy Fuck. Yes, it's a lot of water weight, but it's also a great way to jump start back into a healthy life style and keep on losing weight and figuring out healthy options. I love that more places offer Keto friendly options, both at places to eat like Chipotle and at grocery stores. It really does make it a lot easier to plan and enjoy what you're eating.

Oh and I finally got my period. After literally 73 days. Yesterday the cramps reminded me of high school where I was nauseous and puke-y and the pain was insane. Whereas today, it's been a non-stop flo. Literally since 3 am, and every 3 hours until 10pm tonight, where it's finally starting to slow down a bit. Now, I use one of those menstrual cups, which holds 32ml or 1.08 oz, so far since 3 am it's basically 208 ml or 7 oz - literally today alone. Now, according to google:

"Most women will lose less than 16 teaspoons of blood (80ml) during their period, with the average being around 6 to 8 teaspoons. Heavy menstrual bleeding is defined as losing 80ml or more in each period, having periods that last longer than 7 days, or both. But it's not usually necessary to measure blood loss."

Thankfully my period lasts about 3 full days, but damn, this is one heavy mf right now. Well, at least today's day is heavy.

I am so exhausted, not just from my period, but also from the politics of the day, Covid-19, and people that just can't help but be stupid. I know with the fast this week, sleep has been difficult. It's also been no alcohol, which has been mostly successful. I had 1 sip (SIP) of whiskey, due to my period pain yesterday. But, I need a vacation. Like a nice, week long vacation with nothing good food, drinks, maybe a pool or something. Maybe 2 weeks. My vacation time is mounting, so hopefully sometime soon I can at least a few days in a row. Without having to clean the house or do laundry, or anything else that is a chore.

In other news, I am working on a new tattoo design that will cover up my partially removed moon. I am pretty excited about it. It's nice to have a symbolic and meaningful artful idea for a piece. I've been using my bf's ipad to use the images and add/remove/combine things to it. The next step is find a good (maybe local, maybe not) artist that can do the cover up.

I think it's time to relax, watch some Netflix and think about the dishes that need to be done tomorrow.

I miss my kid

Yes, he's in a good place and on a good path and I know he will be happy and healthy and successful and have amazing new experiences and probably some sketchy ones too...but damn, I just miss my son. I miss his hugs, so very much. I miss his doing the dishes because he knew I was stressed and that he could help. Or even his complaints about the spiders outside.

I am so thankful and lucky that I get to talk to him as much as I do and that in a couple months it may be more difficult. 

I just miss him. 

I love him so much and I am so damn proud of him.

6.20.2020

Missing him

Today is a bit of rough day. Two years ago I got the call that my dad had died. It was the start of roller coaster, for sure. And thankfully things are mostly settled down. I gained a lot of weight and let my bad habit run wild for a bit. But that too is calming down and I'm in the process of reducing the weight again :)

So tonight, I made NY Steak Strip, shrimp, these great little decorative potatoes, sauteed asparagus and steamed broccoli. Dad would have loved it.

Now for some Drambuie.

I miss him. A lot.

Here are some pictures of him across the years.







5.01.2020

Testing and Covid-19

Ok, so I read an article on NPR talking about how some people are getting billed for being tested for Covid-19. Which should be free. (btw, it ended up being corrected, but it's still scary how this can happen and can still)

So I was curious and my health provider has this on their website:












What is interesting is that I literally have Meritus Health that I can get tested at, 2 locations, each within 3-5 miles of where I live.

Back story. A family member who lives in the house had to get tested, due to have a fever for a day and cough. Family member goes to Meritus as the following listed:

Meritus Health Expands COVID-19 Testing for the Community
Meritus Health is now offering COVID-19 testing to all residents showing symptoms as designated by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) – Fever greater than 100.5 degrees and/or a dry cough, shortness of breath or sore throat.
No appointments or referrals are needed to be tested.

So family member got tested, was told the next evening it was positive and the following steps to take. I tell my employer, have to call the corporate nurse. I was told to call my PCP, because work would like me tested, but to get guidance from my PCP. My PCP says they do not give out referrals or orders and to call the Covid hotline, because they had no guidance for me. I call the hotline and tell them my employer wants me tested and they are like, 'unless you have symptoms, nope'. To which I tell my employer. Luckily I am still symptom free.
Anyway, back to my healthcare. I was curious to see what they have on their website (and yes, I get that they can only do so many updates? And assume they have a lot of data to be updated and are probably behind...but still...)

  1. 1

    WellSpan Health-Franklin County

    • Monday
      24 Hours
    •  
    • Tuesday
      24 Hours
    •  
    • Wednesday
      24 Hours
    •  
    • Thursday
      24 Hours
    •  
    • Friday
      24 Hours
    •  
    • Saturday
      24 Hours
    •  
    • Sunday
      24 Hours
    12.31 miles away
    Phone: (877) 724-3258
    501 East Main Street
    Waynesboro, PA 17268
    Notes: Testing sites may require preregistration or a doctor's script in order for a test to be taken, so please check with your health care provider before going to the testing locations.
  2. 2

    Berkeley Medical Center

    • Monday
      10am-4pm
    •  
    • Tuesday
      10am-4pm
    •  
    • Wednesday
      10am-4pm
    •  
    • Thursday
      10am-4pm
    •  
    • Friday
      10am-4pm
    •  
    • Saturday
      10am-4pm
    •  
    • Sunday
      10am-4pm
    16.74 miles away
    Phone: (304) 598-6000
    2500 Hospital Dr
    Martinsburg, WV 25401
    • Provider Order required
    Notes: When calling select option 4
  3. 3

    MedExpress Urgent Care Martinsburg

    • Monday
      8am-6pm
    •  
    • Tuesday
      8am-6pm
    •  
    • Wednesday
      8am-6pm
    •  
    • Thursday
      8am-6pm
    •  
    • Friday
      8am-6pm
    •  
    • Saturday
      8am-6pm
    •  
    • Sunday
      8am-6pm
    18.71 miles away
    Phone: (204) 264-9730
    83 Retail Commons Parkway
    Martinsburg, WV 25403
    • Drive-up Available
Those are the first 3 locations listed for me to be tested, if I needed to be, per their site. And this Provider Order required BS? I mean, my PCP said they have yet to do that and that they do not do that. So, if I needed to be tested, it's obvious Meritus is way ahead of the curve and probably has better funding to get tested in my local community. Whereas my PCP was somewhat clueless and my insurance doesn't have local resources.

In the article, it had some key phrasing: "The law prohibits insurers from charging patients for testing, but it does not block medical providers from doing so" (NPR, 2020).

Which is kinda evil with what is going on.

Just be aware of what you are responsible for and be prepared. All of this is probably still evolving, but damn.


4.29.2020

Just...waiting

So my niece got tested yesterday for Covid-19, because she had a fever for over 24 hours, some coughing and a sore throat. And if she's sick, which I honestly hope she's not and it's just a regular flu or something, because otherwise *I* am sick. And I do not want to be sick. I hate being sick. Being sick sucks. At least so far she has been sleeping through most of it. I hope IF she is sick, it's mild. I also hope that if/when I do get this, then I hope it's as mild.

This whole thing is just so stressful. Work is still work thankfully, still pretty busy with that, though some days more so than others. Right now it's hard to focus and work is the most helpful with keeping focused.

I need to read a book. And crochet more. And maybe at some point finish the book I had started writing a decade ago (with some rewrites no doubt). I need to clean my house, paint the walls, get rid of the things I don't need

Mostly, I need to step up my game on prepping my house for selling. I am looking forward to a change.

4.09.2020

Quarantine life

I am definitely one of the lucky ones. I am able to work from home, and while I am "essential", my job is not always required for me to be on-site. Yay logistics! I am lucky, I have a job, it's a good job and I like it and even with this crazy Covid-19 shit going down, they are more understanding than I would have realized.

People are dying. People are getting sick. This is so bad and painful to watch happen. I know at some point I am going to get sick, I just hope it's when things have calmed down and there are more resources. Because right now there are few and far between resources available.

So I grocery shop once a week and literally do not leave the house unless it's for work. I use disposable gloves if I have to get gas. And I've ordered some regular DIY face masks with filters, for those future occasions of shopping. And also just in case one of us gets sick so that they (or me) and whoever is taking care of them is more protected than nothing.

This is supposed to go on another month. This will probably last longer than that. I should be doing more cleaning in my house.Or something more, just more. I've finished school so that is no longer pressing on me. I am feeling, something. Distracted, tired but not tired, and I don't know have the right adjectives.

The world as we know is shifting and changing, again. Which is alright because it's meant to change and shift.

I just don't know. Sometimes I feel at a loss, that it's not really that bad. But it's not the flu. It's not a cold. And it's an interesting thought process, think back 200 years when there were not this huge ass cities or even as big as communities we have now. I guess for them though, it was a normal to plan so much out and they probably had more chores to keep them busy and distracted. And shit, I have a ton of things I could and should be doing...I just have no oomph to get moving. It's taken me a week to just randomly write on this post.

And there are some moments I'm good. Where I can focus on the future and think of the good things to come.

It's just not nearly as often.


3.18.2020

Minor update

I really wish I could have gone to see my son's graduation from BMT. But this crazy coronavirus had other ideas. The AF shut down families coming to visit. And while a lot of parents were seriously distraught, all I could think of, is I rather not see my kid then have the possibility of spreading it around more. You just can't tell who would have it, share it, and then it escalates from there. It's going to be bad enough as it is. I would rather try to avoid it, for me and those I love, than not.I will probably still get it, but hopefully when the curve starts to flatten and medical services aren't as stranded. Not that they are right now, but this thing seems to be quite aggressive.

I have to work on-site 4 hours a day, telework the remaining time. I don't mind it, there are few people here and I am able to actually get more done. So, no arguments from me on that one! House is stocked so far, plus at some point the grocery stores will restock. People are really kinda crazy with this though. I could understand the mass rush for toilet paper if it was a hurricane or snow storm or if the virus made use the bathroom - but people are just somewhere out in left field for some reason.

I think the biggest change for me, still is not having more school to pull me into. I am still figuring out life without that complication! I have noticed having more focus on just about everything.

With my son now at tech school, it has been awesome being able to talk and face time with him. He looks very military and very grown up. And my mind is still slightly blown that my kid is actually an adult and going down a very bright path. Love it. Love him. I am so proud of him, and not just because he passed BMT, but because he is focused and figuring things out. It's honestly a huge relief to see your kid not make bad decisions. I mean, I know we all do make them at some point, but I am thankful it didn't start right out of the gate into adulthood. And it just makes me so happy to see him liking this and doing it. I knew he was capable, I've always known that - but knowing it and then seeing it, it's such a beautiful thing.

OK, time for me to get the next part of my day going :)

3.10.2020

Hot Damn!

Class is done. Grades are in. I am done. 100%. Finally have my degree (ok, pending the actually ceremony). Graduation info had been submitted and paid for and it was only waiting on this class to be finished.

This is so very satisfying. 

As in, I think I am still processing the enormity of this. 25 years after I left my first entry into college, and after 6 years of going back to school part time, I have this bitch completed. Wow. Just, sweet cheese and crackers, wow.

And now, by tomorrow evening I will be on a plane to see my son graduate BMT and start the next phase of his life.

Doubly satisfying.

Life is good. Life is awesome. Life is blessed.


3.04.2020

1 Week and counting

I'm in the process of writing this paper and I am distracting myself, because I am so excited for this class to be completed and to have graduated.

Edit: It's now been a week. Paper is written and graded :)

I only have 1 more report to do and turn in next Sunday. One more week of forums. And then I will be done! Graduated ! It is sooo relieving. And exciting.

Next, next I get to see my son, as he graduates from BMT. That is a whole new level of excitement. I am so damn proud of my son. He has rocked this, and pushed through and succeeded.

Life is hectic, but good. I am just - Happy :)

By this time next week, it will be a whole new happy :)

2.21.2020

Such a light Winter

What is it about chicken noodle soup and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that just make a chilly day feel better??

And this whole week is going to be a tad bit chilly. (this past week)

Though I will say that this winter has been absolutely light, no major snows or anything like that. And the few nights/days it's been cold, it hasn't gotten so low that it was a worry.

Raven is now at BMT, I miss that kid something fierce. But I am so damn proud of him! I honestly hope he likes it, it is for 6 years. And granted his BMT will be drastically different from wherever he ends up. But I know he's got this.

I am on my last class to get my BS in Business Administration degree and  this class is over in March (literally 2 weeks from Sunday). Then, THEN, I will have time and I almost don't know what to do with myself! I can read again, I will have time to clean my house and landscape my yard, to organize and finally go through things! And I am so looking forward to clearing junk out and de-cluttering.

I am excited about starting the next chapter in life :) Updating the house, prepping it for future sale hopefully and just having the time to re-focus on the important things in life.

So, it's a light winter, I hope it's a nice spring and beautiful summer.

All in all, life is good :) I am blessed and thankful for those blessings <3 p="">