2 Steps Forward!

Yes!! My insurance came back with the approval for surgery! Surgery is set for the end of this month!!

Got the call and made appointments for this same week, which is awesome sauce!

I had an appointment with my Primary Care Dr this morning at 8 am, that went super easy and good. 2nd appointment was with my surgeon, which was also went super easy and good.

The biggest pieces of info:

• Take out birth control 2 weeks prior to surgery and doesn't go back in until 1 month after
• I will be out for 4 weeks, my job is too physical to take a change on bothering my stitches
• It nice to hear I'm on the low end of BMI's they deal with...it's just not something an extra fluffy girl hears often.
• I have a couple more things to get accomplished, blood tests and Covid test, before surgery

I had 2 interesting conversations today.

One with a coworker and good friend who knows about my surgery. His wife had the bypass a few years ago. She said to do keto and not do the surgery. This is the 2nd time she's not to do the sleeve, at first she said to do the bypass. I said to my coworker that I'm not doing this because I have a bad relationship with food, it's more due to having an endocrine system disorder (PCOS). His wife had/has issues with food. She choose to go and eat fast food and make some unhealthy choices. (if anything, mine would be more related to drinking too much). I told him I've done keto and I did not get the results that she or others may get because my body does not send the right/same type of messages. I need something to cause this hardware reset. Then I can start with the software updates of healthy food and drink choices. I was surprised in both her statements though. It could also be that some info is lost in translation too.

2nd conversation was with my regular FedEx driver. I told him I was having surgery and blah blah blah. He asked why and I said really it was the the colonoscopy coming back with a precarious polyp. And family history of diabetes and cancer and I explained in more detail. He was super nice and supportive and said he was glad I was doing something about it and how it's amazing what technology can do now and give warning. He's a cancer survivor. And it was just so nice to hear someone say something positive right off the bat. Only him and my niece have done that so far.

So, yeah it will be nice to weigh less and look good. But damn it, I want to be at a healthy weight so I have a better life. I don't want diabetes or the other health issues of my family. Nope nope nope!

Yes, I know it will start off as miserable and pain and unhappiness. But the long term results are what matters.

It's a head game

 I don't think one realizes how much a head game it is. Food is this whole thing that you need/require to survive and as a species we've gotten to the point of consuming quite a bit more than needed. And some of it isn't even really good food for you. It's a chemical make up to make our brains things it's getting what it needs because it tastes good but the reality is your body suffers for it.

I guess because I do read so much on the WLS and VSG, and trying to make sure I am as prepared as possible, wrapping my head around the head game of my food habits has been interesting and somewhat surprising. Of course you want to think you've got shit under control. But that fact is I don't. I snack, sometimes good things and somethings bad, right moments/wrong moments. I "treat" myself for whatever xyz reason. I'm an adult, I can recognize that over my life time I've tried to do better and self sabotaged at the same time. Who knew!

It's been interesting, probably because no one LIKES to admit they make mistakes and while a big (no pun here) issue is my PCOS/endocrine system issues that contribute a significant amount to my body not doing the things it's supposed to, I think in the last few years (at least), my drinking and snacking have just made a whole lot worse.

I am really appreciating the fact that I won't be able to make those choices after the surgery, because those are bad choices that I seem to repeat on the most. Restrictive doesn't have mean bad and for so long, I have definitely viewed it as such. In this case, specially for me, it will feel like a curse but it will be blessing.