OMFG, what is it with men and pestering me about time??
*please note all guys are ones I am friends/coworkers with*
One guy is like, why haven't you put XYZ up on eBay?
Another guy is like, you can't use the excuse you're still moving, this is an "intervention"
Seriously, I am moving my stuff literally one car load at time. Up and down motherfucking stairs. By my 50 year self. And every fucking time I go back to the apartment, it HURTS. My heart hurts. I drink more on those nights. No matter if I am there 15 minutes or 2 hours. And the hurt is not necessarily bad, it's part of this whole damn process. Relationships and lives lived together should not be an easy thing to shift from, there is a lot of internal and external processing that has to be done. There is grieving and yes freedom too, but by all the gods, people need to understand this is not overnight, or even a month long thing. I need time, between every fucking car trip.
And it's not like my shit is light, a lot of these boxes and totes are fucking heavy.
And yes, it will all get done and sometimes I should ask for help. It's just, fuck me, it's hard on different levels. I am working through so much right now, and that part I appreciate to be fully honest with myself. Understanding me myself is therapy I need.
