It's a lot like busy - to the tune of holiday music

 Work has been increasingly busy! Life has been catching up too! Between my surgery coming up, Jessie having the baby and helping out on the weekends and work just becoming this pretty non-stop daily thing, I am exhausted.

Exhausted.

Oh and lets add in some of those fun perimenopause symptoms coming around, with sleep being more elusive and some of mood swings are back.

But! I just did have my last fucking period!! That is so amazingly awesome and I just can't stop grinning every time I think about it. I am excited for this surgery - don't get me wrong, I understand there is going to be bit of a long recovery in general and that life will instantly be turned upside down - BUT things should even out (I need to contact my GP about HRT probably now) and things/life will be better. It's not just preventative, it's also quality of life for the next 10 years. Keep your fingers crossed I don't lose my mind and change all kinds of life options in the wrong ways.

Also, the holidays are literally right around the corner. Thanksgiving is next week and then it's surgery and then Christmas/Yule. It's just a lot! And with all these surgeries and health things this year, I will need a 2nd job to pay off this debt sooner rather than later. That will be a fun thing to figure out once I am out of the healing stage.

I think I have 90% of my gift shopping done. It's hard to make some decisions on what to get things for someone you love/care about and not make it too silly or unnecessary.

Oh and I am going to keep working on losing weight. I'd like to lose another 30 lbs in the next 6 months. Not sure how realistic that is with my hormones going off the rails here shortly, but I have hope and persistence. I want to lose 5 lbs before surgery, plan on re-doing the liquid diet I did for my last one. The first 3 days were the worst but after that it was livable. 

My cat Diego, who is 16 going on 17, is on thyroid meds and his kidneys are just barely starting to show some signs of potential issues, per the $355 vet visit last week. 

I miss my son.

Holding a baby is both therapeutic and amazing.

I need to cut my hair, clear off my nail polish and clean the shower. These are things that are on my mind on a regular, if not daily basis, but have yet to do them in that last 30 days. I have no idea why I am delaying, but none of them will take long to get accomplished. 

I have one more thing to fill out for the surgery too, a listing of everything I am taking (which is a website site and if I could be smart and get it done at work that would be fine but I feel like I need to get it done at home where are my things are...it's weird. Why is it so weird?)

See, it's all a bit of a cluster. I am spinning and throwing darts and hitting some targets but not all of them. And a lot of them are important targets.

I need to start using my planner, it was so helpful before and I got away from it because the routine, was well established routine. But right now so many things are shifting again. 

Also, people put their heads on pillows...not their feet. It would be nice not to use a pillow as a foot rest, especially without socks, all over a pillow that someone might be sleeping on later. I mean, ew. Ew. Granted, if your foot is injured and it's being elevated, that's one thing. No, this is just pushing bare feet against a pillow that is on the floor for some reason. Why is it on the floor? Why the need to put naked feet on it? Are those feet clean? It's just...ew. How am I going to clean this pillow now?? It's a larger one so damn.

In other news, it got freaking cold outside!  Which is both nice and annoying, as I really do that utopia temperature of 70 degrees with a crisp breeze or light wind. Winter is just around the corner and it will hopefully being a safe one and nothing too dramatic.

And I have also confirmed that I can not eat a lot of sugar in one sitting. It makes me nauseous and my stomach was not happy. I got hot. I was literally working in the garage without a jacket or my vest (I love my vest) to cool off which thankfully helped. Oh another thing happened a couple weeks ago. I must have drank water too close to eating because my mouth was just filling, FILLING, with salvia. It was a bit wild. So definitely do not drink within 20-30 minutes of eating, especially a meal that makes you full. 

Ok, I think my brain has run away enough for the evening. I need to get to bed and sleep a happy deep sleep. 

Open and Honest

Let's have some open and honest communication shall we?

First things first! I am super excited to be going on a vacation with my BFF. On a cruise no less. Now, those of you that know me really well, know that I have this deep seeded fear of the ocean. Not so much drowning or anything like that. It's just that, to me, the ocean is this very incredibly powerful entity that if she got pissed off enough, she would basically burp and the US is the new Atlantis. That's all. Respect the ocean people!!!

So, I've never been one who wanted to willingly place my body on the ocean for any sort of journey. Because it would sort of be like tempting fate.

However, with the end of my marriage and life's upheavals, I decided (ok ok, I said FUCK IT!) that I need to face and (hopefully) conquer this fear. Of course, the timing was serendipitous because my BFF had contacted me about going on a cruise with her. Hmmm, now what would prompt someone who knows of this fear to ask me about a cruise? Well, I will call it Fate or intuition or something, because it's probably the most perfect thing ever.

Part of that awesomeness is that I've never ever been outside the US (tragic, I know) and now - well now I get to go 4 different ones! WOOT!!

Seriously, fucking excited and just a tad bit scared.

I am going to miss my kid though. Like, seriously miss him. Of course, he will be with his Dad for a portion of it and staying at home with another BFF who's watching my house. But still. I always have a really hard time when he's not home.

Open and honest - hmmm what else.

Well, some things just aren't anyone's business unless I include them in it. What does that mean, you might wonder? Oh, I don't know...my friends know what's going on with me. So does my family. Basically the ones that I care about and that care about me. Of course, I am a bit behind on catching some friends and family up on life. But that's normal. It would be too exhausting to keep everyone in the exact same loop! Not to mention they have their own life and issues going on. But I should try to schedule a girls night soon though. Which will probably happen AFTER the holidays are over!!

No, I don't go posting crazy shit on for status updates on facebook or anything like that. I haven't even had time to blog a whole lot lately (laundry anyone??) but I'm hoping that after the holiday season is over, things calm down again and life moves forward and things are good. I am really looking forward to that...

Weight is staying about the same. I've started walking at work though. I should probably stop getting breakfast from Dunkin' donuts if I really want to be better about my eating habits. Yes, well...it's the fucking holiday season so whatever!! And when winter really hits, not sure what I will do. Oh wait, you know inventory my ass off! LOL

The Kid

Let's see - He's a preteen, hormones are starting to get to him a bit. School life is rough in 7th grade...there seems to be a lot of fighting, arrests and bullying going on. Never easy that. He's doing good in his classes though. He has a couple good friends. I know he wishes he had more and/or that there were less assholes in his classes. I think we all wish there were less assholes in the world though. He plays a lot of video games, I think as do most boys his age. He's starting to exercise more though, which is always a good thing. He has such a big heart. He loves band. Loves it. Says he wants to do it in HS. Wow. Who knew!!! I'm so happy he's happy with it :)

He's been having it rough lately. With the divorce and issues with just everything going on, it's not easy. Plus, he usually takes a little time to digest it before he can talk about it. It's something I am keeping a very close eye on. Last night he was a bit of a wreck. I got a call from the school nurse saying he had a headache yesterday morning. I talked to him and honestly, he sounded very stressed out. I went and picked him and took him home. Had a good talk with him. He was upset and worried and just stressed out from everything. He needed a day away from school and some time to decompress. He freaked out because he didn't get something completed that he had wanted to. I told him not to worry, that he can complete it later and everything will work out fine. He was on the verge on tears, but after hearing that and knowing it was ok, he was a lot better.

I think he needs to upcoming holiday break and then winter break more than anything. Winter break will be nice, easy and relaxing :) Plus he gets presents, and that will be a nice distraction :)

We're going to the movies this Friday. I'm trying to get him out of the house a bit more, hanging with friends or just doing stuff together. Maybe we will go to the park and check out the skate part of it. Or just walk it.

Holiday Projects

I am thinking of going to Michael's this weekend to see about getting some supplies to make a wreathe and maybe some cute but easy ornaments for me and the Kid to do. I also want to go to Pier 1 to see if they have some cool ornaments :)

Ok, time to take my spayed kitty to the vet, it seems she's in heat. Yeah, that makes sense right!! Ugh!!